Fraser’s Point of View
I’m so sorry Fraser… there was nothing they could do.
Her words ran through my head over and over. Pain struck my chest, as I collapsed to the floor. I sat there motionless, for which seemed like an eternity. My eyes were blood-shot, and my jeans stained with tears. I could feel my airway closing up. My breaths becoming shorter, and more forced.
Head on collision… Killed instantly…
My father… dead. He was just going to get my sister from Bridgeport. She had been locked up for the past year, for some crap. And now… and NOW, he’s DEAD! Every time I thought about it, the harder I cried. He just couldn’t be gone… not like this! It’s not FAIR!
I heard the screech of a car, and the rustle of keys. The front door swung open, bringing along a cold breeze. Kyle gasped when he saw me on the floor. He rushed to my side, and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“F-fraser?” he stuttered, shaking me slightly. I turned my head to face him, and he jumped back. “What happened?!”
I picked myself off the floor, and threw myself into Kyle. I shoved my head into his shoulder, and just cried. I didn’t say a word to him, nor did he try and pester it out of me. He just cradled me, and rubbed my back. I squeezed him tighter, and lifted my head to breath.
“My… d-d-dad.” I choked out, my face red and drenched. “H-he’s gone! Car c-c-rash.”
Kyle sighed loudly, and held onto me. “Oh… oh… Fraser. Shhhh… sweetie.” I could hear the cracking in his voice, as if trying to hold back tears himself.
We stood there for a good 2 hours. I just… I just couldn’t find it in myself to let go of him. I needed that comfort so badly. I didn’t even have the strength to call him at work. Once the news hit me, I felt like I literally died inside. My entire body just went numb.
It was around 3:10 am, when I finally did calm down. I cleared the tears from my eyes, and finally let go of Kyle. His shoulder was completely soaked, and mine… well let’s just say, I could feel a small wet spot. Even though his eyes didn’t show much, I knew he was crying.
“This was a dumb idea Kyle!” I finally managed to speak “We should have never run away! Now, my father died… and I never even got to say good-bye!”
He frowned, and his eyes filled with sorrow “Fraser, it’s not our faults that he died. He knew you loved him-“
“LOVE HIM! Not loved! There is no past tense KYLE! I will always LOVE my father.” I shouted, throwing my face into my hands. I couldn’t even cry anymore. My head was pounding, and I was so tired….
Guilt washed over him. I could see it when our glances met. “I’m sorry…” he whispered, trying to place a hand on my shoulder. I shifted away, and stormed off. I just couldn’t do this anymore… I COULDN’T!
The funeral was held a week after it happened. I couldn’t even believe I was flying back to Twinbrook. It had been a little over a year since I saw my family, and this was not the occasion I planned on returning for. Little did they know, I wasn’t staying. I just couldn’t. I mean, how could I live in a place where EVERYTHING reminded me of my father? Just NO. It was only for a few days, then Kyle and I were heading back.
“He… he did everything for me. He treated me so well. He helped me escape my darkness. WHY? WHY HIM!?” Ian screamed, throwing his face into his hands. Tears poured from his eyes, and my heart broke over and over. I thought I would feel better, if I went to this… but I felt WORSE! Seeing my family just as upset, or more… made me want to die!
What made matters worse, was that not even all of our family was here! We were still getting over the loss of our grandparents, so most of them just refused to come at all! Heather was stuck in Bridgeport, Gaven was at a base somewhere over sea’s, and Jake recently broke his leg and neck from some freak accident! Everyone was getting hurt one way or another!
So it was just Kyle, my mom, Ian, Jackie, and me.
“D-d-d-daddy!!! Please come back to me. I miss your kissies, and your-your- bedtime stories!” Jackie cried, and my mom went over and comforted her. My mother was trying to stay strong for all of us, but she couldn’t… it was just too much.
“Oh Cale…” my mom cried, letting go of her grasp on Jackie. “I’m sorry, my babies. I-I-I wish there was s-something I could do for you!”
I grabbed my mom, and pulled her into a hug. “You’ve done more than enough.”
Jackie sighed, and more tears fell from her eyes “Daddy… please don’t die. Please come back, daddy.”
I wrapped my arms around her, and sniffled.“I want him to come home too, Jackie.”
After a few days in Twinbrook, Kyle and me decided to head back. I hugged all of my family good-bye, and told them I loved them all. I wasn’t making the same mistake twice. I wanted to make sure all my good-byes were established this time.
When we got back, nothing much really changed. I was still hurting, and Kyle was still working. Crimson gave me a lot of personal time off, considering it was a very drastic time in my life right now. Kyle didn’t get so lucky considering it’s his boyfriends dad that died. Not his.
No matter what I tried though, I couldn’t get the pain to go away. I tried crying, sleeping, eating… nothing worked! I even tried replacing the hurting with physical pain!
“Are you sure you want this?”
“Not on my ARM! Not on my arm!” I screeched, nearly giving the lady a heart attack. I’m sure she’s seen people who freaked out, but… not like me.
“Now my ears… pierce them. THREE times on each ear!” I gritted, clenching my arms to my chest. I was trying so hard not to touch the tattoo on my neck. It was hurting like crazy, but I didn’t care. Instead I wanted more pain inflicted onto me!
“Alright, buddy… it’s your money.”
When that failed, I just gave up. I slipped into a depression, and stayed within my room for weeks. Kyle was barely home anymore anyways, so what would he care? When I wasn’t sleeping, I was laying there… in the dark… remembering. All my memories I had of my father, everything just flooding back to me.
They were so vivid, and realistic. Sometimes I couldn’t even separate fantasy from reality.
“Daddy! I got an ‘A’ on my science project!”
“Great job, Fraser! Come here, give daddy a hug.”
More tears. Everything I thought about ended with tears.
“Fraser, have you been yelling at your sister? What have I told you about that? She’s just a baby…”
“Dad, she’s bothering me when I’m working! I’m trying to get this concoction perfect!”
My sister. The whole reason my dad is gone in the first place. If it wasn’t for her, he would still be alive… She deserves to be yelled AT!
“What am I going to do with you Fraser?! How could you do such a thing? Haven’t I taught you better than that?” “I’m so sorry daddy… I just- I- I’m sorry.”
I wish I could apologize to my father, for every time I’ve screwed up, and caused him pain. I’d do anything to have him by my side again. Oh, Dad… why you?! Why NOW?!
After long, and painful months… I decided it was time to start going back to work. I had to face reality, and accept the fact that my father was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. Kyle showed me as much compassion as he could, but even after awhile he wasn’t happy with the fact that I was still locked in our room, out of work. I love Kyle, but he can be a total jerk sometimes. For god’s sake, I lost my FATHER! I can’t help it if you hate yours…
I arrived at work the next morning right on time. Crimson, and the other workers were very shocked to see me! I hadn’t been to work in so long, they probably thought I would never come back. Once inside, I grabbed my lab gear and placed it on. I walked through the double doors, and found everyone quietly working. Before I had a chance to get to my station, something about the subject in the testing room caught me off guard.
Pregnant. The woman was pregnant! Now I’m sure this can’t be legal? It’s dangerous enough to test on just humans, but throwing a growing infant in the mix?! I just don’t know about this…
I turned to my lab partners, and cleared my throat to get there attention. “Guys? Can you please tell me why Dr. Sponge is testing on a pregnant woman? Does Crimson know about this?” I questioned, casting them both puzzled glances.
Lear snorted, and shook his head at me “Fraser, Fraser… You haven’t been around for so long, you have no idea what’s going on! Of course Crimson knows about this, it’s his Lab! DUH?!”
“So he’s just allowing pregnant women to test drugs for money? Endangering the baby?! That’s SICK!” I growled, rolling my eyes.
Sebie crossed his arms and chuckled “Fraser, that woman is not testing drugs for money. Can you just calm down, and let us explain to you what’s going on?”
“Crimson has this new running product going on -that’s been approved by the FDA- that enhances the development of the baby, and is suppose to help it along.” Lear stated, pointing to the charts on the wall.
“What, like… make it something it’s not? I’m not sure I understand what you mean?”
“It’s to lift the percentages of the birth. Like less chance of a miscarriage, or a still born. The FDA approved it, so Crimson got right into getting women to test it out. So far Crimson used it on 100 successful pregnancies. So we’ve been told…”
“So it’s 100% safe for that woman to be using it? Is what your telling me?” I stated, staring them both up an down.
(Don’t you just love the pencil, behind his ear?! :D)
“Do we have to sedate you or something, Fraser? You really need to relax. We’re suppose to just to do our jobs, and take orders from Crimson. Not worry about all that. If anything happens, you don’t want to be stuck in the middle of it. Just… calm down, alright?” Lear laughed, pointing over to the table “Go on. Jump into your pile of paperwork you’ve let stack up!”
“Funny… Real funny. But seriously wouldn’t you been concerned for the little baby, and the mother at that? I was just being careful is all.”
“We know, Fraser.” Sebie sighed “Now let’s all just get back to work. It isn’t getting done by itself.”
I went over to the table, and started working on the blood samples that were over there. I half expected the Huckleberry brothers to join me, but… they just pulled off to the side and started whispering to one another. I couldn’t really make out everything they were saying.
“Are you sure? I mean… what if he’s right?” Lear whispered, fumbling with the pencil on his ear.
“We just have to trust Crimson. I’m sure everything is fine.”
About 5 months after that day, Crimson called me into his office. His testing still proceeded on, and basically Lear, Sebbie, and I kept to ourselves. They were right… if I got myself mixed into something illegal or uncalled for, I would be in trouble as well. So we just took his word on it, and continued what we were there to do.
I inched open his door, and slid in through it quietly. He was muttering things to himself, until he felt my presence.
“Fraser.” he grumbled “Is that you?”
“Do you know what it’s like to be a failure? Over, and OVER?” he raged, barely looking over his shoulder.
I really didn’t know how to answer that. Sure I’ve done crap in my life, but to honestly call myself a failure? Not sure I can…
“Not really, sir…” I coughed, leaning myself against the wall. For some reason I felt really uneasy. So I kept my distance.
He spun around quickly, and faced me. His hair was messy, and his eyes were crazed. Something tells me this guy had a rough night… “Well lucky you.”
“But you know, Fraser? I think it’s about time for me to stop failing. You know how I’m going to do that?” he chuckled, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I gulped hard, and shook my head no.
“I think it’s about time we put that contract into use? Don’t you agree?” he laughed, pulling the folded form from his pocket. That stupid contract…
“W-what are you going to do to me?”
He handed me two small containers. I looked at him funny, and he laughed once more.
“One’s for a blood sample, and the others for… a “different” kind of sample.” he smirked, then shifted his eyes downward.
“Yea. It’s something that requires a little privacy. Don’t worry… I’m sure you remember where the bathroom is?”
My whole stomach just dropped, and my cheeks flushed red. He was not seriously asking me to just- Oh god…
“Give your samples to Lear and Sebie, then have Dr.Sponge extract blood.” he stated, as I stood there completely embarrassed. “Oh, and thanks for the samples Fraser. This means a lot to my research!”
The first thing I decided to do was the blood. It was easier, and less embarrassing than the second set of samples. In a way though, I was actually okay of what he asked of me. I was expecting to try some new drug, or inject random things into my blood stream. Giving blood, and sperm wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just curious as to what he was using it for? Maybe some kind of sampling to how it reacts to different body fluids? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that not eating, then giving blood… NOT my brightest idea.
“Dr. Sponge? Is- Am I done yet? I feel funny…”
After the blood was drawn, and I got myself something to eat, I went into the office bathroom and “finished” the second part. What was worse than doing that at my work, was actually giving the samples to my partners.
“So uhhh… who’s taking this?”
Sebie threw his head down, and blushed red. Lear coughed a little and averted his eyes towards another part of the room. Why did they have to make it so much harder?!
About a month later, I found myself at home. It was some kind of office holiday, so I was off. Trust me though, I was happy to have it. I’ve been working 40 hour weeks, and it was nice to actually be able to just sit at home.
“I’ll be home late tonight, don’t wait up.” Kyle snapped, opening the front door. I didn’t pay him no mind. He’s been like this for awhile now, so I kind of gotten use to it.
“Mhmm, yep. Have a nice day at work, babe.” I replied, not even taking my eyes from the TV screen.
Later on in the evening, while I was in the middle of making dinner, I got a knock at the door. It literally scared the crap out of me! I wasn’t expecting anyone to just come up to our house like that. Since our home is basically see through, I noticed right away that it was some woman at the door. I walked over to it, and she cast me a small smile.
I opened the door, and looked at her confused “Your Fraser, right?”
I nodded my head. “Um… can I come in?” I stepped back, and kept my eyes glued to her as she walked by. I was really concerned as to who she was, and why she was here?
“Is there something I can help with you ma’am?”
“Fraser, there is something I really need to explain to you. It’s about about your boss…”
Oh… this does not sound good!
Thanks for reading! A special thanks to Jed, for letting me use Lear and Sebbie!! (:
Lots of questions, running through your head? 😉 Oh and RIP Cale ):