Chapter 5.3 – Inner-Battle

Makenzie’s Point of View

I took a step back. My breaths low and short, my heart racing faster and faster. The only thing I could do was stare at him. Did he just say he loved me?! I was trying to get past everything he just told me, now he LOVES me?!

“Please say something.” he breathed into the crisp air. The wind blew chillingly at us, but neither moved. I didn’t know how we could! I was completely baffled and blown away, and he was waiting for my answer.

Part of me wanted to run into his arms, and squeeze him tight. The other half wanted to scream and yell, wondering how he could ever think I would love him!

He nudged the topic again “Makenzie… I know it’s tough, but I need to know how you feel. I really am so sorry.”

I swallowed. My mouth was so dry, and scratchy. The thought of him and me kept running around inside my head. My stomach twisted in pain, and I clenched it.

“I-I… I don’t know!” I blurted out, my head growing a headache as I spoke.

I looked at the ground for another second, then darted away. I just couldn’t do this right now! This was too hard for me to decide right then and there. This isn’t choosing out which type of candy I wanted from the store, this was choosing if I loved someone or not! And this someone didn’t make it easy to love him.

When Jeremy saw me book it, he came running right up behind. GOD! He just doesn’t quit!

I shoved open the gate, then stopped in my tracks when I heard him call out my name again.

“Please Micki!” he begged “I’m sorry I asked you to make this decision now, I just need to know.”

I balled my fist at my side, and narrowed my eyes. This was too hard of a choice to choose NOW! He was just making me so frustrated!

“Jeremy, I swear to god you won’t like my answer if you make me choose right now.” I spat out, not even turning to look back at him.

I could feel him staring at my back, and the sense of pain that he was feeling. It was either he’s sad for right now and I have time to think, or I was just going to drop him for good. I don’t need a man who’s pushing me into something. I need someone who will be willing to wait for me.

I came home around a half hour later, and drug myself into the living room. Being as that I was tired of being alone for once in my life, I threw myself down next to my sister. Of course being that she easily picks up on EVERYTHING, she of course asked me what was wrong. Reluctant to her persistence, I sighed and started explaining.

“I just don’t know what to do.” I sighed, my eyes glued to the wall. I didn’t feel like looking at her. I felt ashamed of myself for actually thinking about him like this.

“Here’s an idea…” she said rather matter-of-factly “How about your forget about this guy, and find someone who is actually worthy of you? Your a great girl Mick, why would you want to settle for less, when you can have so much more?”

Great! So I sort of seek advice from my sister, and she slaps me in the face with it.

“Why would say that about him!? He’s not less! He just made a mistake!” I snapped back, her face left in shock.

“Mistake!? Forgetting your homework is a mistake, raping someone is a crime! I can’t believe you actually think he loves you. Micki he has issues! Please just listen to me.” she pleaded, her eyes filled with worry.

I lowered my head, and let a tear escape my eye. In my head I knew everything she was saying was true. Even if he did love me, I would always be carrying that burden of not knowing if he would hurt me again. But my heart screamed no! It wanted to let him in and forgive him. To hold him close, and tell him that I loved him too. I didn’t know WHY I felt this need to defend him, but I just… did.

“You don’t know him like I do!” I sniffled, another tear sliding down my cheek.

“Micki-“

I stood up from the couch, and headed straight for my room. Not even giving her a second glance. She called out for me a few more times, but I just ignored her. I didn’t care what she thought. I knew what I wanted.

I collapsed onto my bed, and wrapped my blanket around myself. I laid there with my eyes closed, but I didn’t sleep. My mind was too busy trying to figure things out to sleep. Why do things have to be so difficult?

Fraser’s Point of View

It had been weeks. Kaylee was exceeding in her job with Jed, and Lia was getting offers made on her beautiful artwork all the time. I was completely satisfied with the twins, and how they’ve been. The only one that’s been really bothering me is Makenzie. I hate it that she is always stuck in her room crying or out all hours of the day by herself. It scares me to think that she could be undergoing depression, and thinking bad thoughts. She’s my baby girl, and seeing her like this breaks my heart.

“Scott I just can’t take it anymore! Every time I look at Micki, I get upset! That tells you something right there.” I sighed, my eyes filled with regret “Do you think it’s something I did? I always gave her everything she could ever need.”

Scott laid his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes “Don’t blame yourself for Micki acting this way, Fraser! She’s just struggling right now. I’m sure she’ll get past this phase soon enough.”

“It doesn’t feel like a phase. I just feel that she’ll never be happy. She hasn’t had it easy, and she’s still so young…”

Scott wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder “It’s going to be okay Fraser. We’ll get her through this. We’ll all get through this.”

I really hoped he was right.

Makenzie’s Point of View

No matter how hard I tried to get Jeremy out of my head, I couldn’t. Those 3 words ran through my head over and over. Why could 3 simple little words, turn my whole life around?

I stepped out the front door, after being home for the 6th day in a row. My parents gave up trying to force me to go to school, and just sighed every time they passed by me and saw me curled up on the couch. I was about to go get the mail, when I nearly tread over a dozen roses.

I picked them up, and smiled when I saw that my name was written in a note on the side. I knew they were from Jeremy, and my heart swelled with pride every time I thought about him. How could I not forgive him? He’s trying so hard to win my affection, yet all I’m doing is shoving it back in his face. He deserves better than that, right?

I went inside the house, took a quick shower, and got dressed. I noticed that I forgot to put my phone on, so I picked it up and let it power up. When it finally flashed into life, I noticed I had at least 3 messages all from Jeremy.

I dialed my voice mail, then placed the phone to my ear.

“Hey Micki, it’s Jeremy again. I just wanted to see if you were alright, and to tell you that I’ll wait as long as it takes for you. You mean everything to me, and that’s never going to change. Well… see ya.”

Things like this made it so much easier to lean towards him, but at the same time… he did call me drunk once this week. How can I choose if he will never quit!? He’s driving me insane! I don’t know what to do anymore. One moment I’m all for him, then the next I’m confused again. Sigh.

About a month later it was my sisters birthday party. They didn’t throw anything big, but there was still too many people for my taste. I watched from the couch as people started to arrive, when all of a sudden there was this big giggle fest from Rose and Kaylee was completely embarrassed.

“Oh my god… Rose! I told you to stop messing with him! Heh… Hi, uh, Jed.” Kaylee waved slightly to her boss, her eyes glued to the floor.

“What?! I told you I could get him shirtless!” she laughed harder, her tongue hanging halfway out of her mouth.

(Oh yea, I so went there 😉 Nice 6-pack, Jed!)

“Hey guys! I’m here for the… um, why aren’t you guys in bathing suits?” Jed questioned his smile quickly falling.

I rolled my eyes “Cause’ this isn’t a pool party. You’ve been duped, dude.”

He cleared his throat, and adverted his eyes away from us.

“Um, uh, … Can- Can I borrow a T-shirt?” He stuttered his cheeks burning bright.

My dad walked by and glared at Rose. He gestured for Jed to follow him, and the only thing I could do was laugh. It felt so good to laugh.

Since more and more people were showing up, I decided to high-tail it outside. Being left alone to my thoughts felt like the only way I could actually feel better. I learned that talking about my problems only gets more even more angry, so being alone it is.

Yea but when you have a problem solving boss like Kaylee has, there’s no time for being alone I guess.

“Mind if I join you?”

I scooted off the lawn chair, and made my way up to face him.

“Oh I was just going inside, you can have my chair if you like.” I gestured, offering the empty spot to him.

“Nah, I thought I’d rather talk to you.” he smiled.

God, he reminds me of my dad and papa. Never leaves me alone, always want to talk…

I sighed at him “Alright, I can see I’m not getting out of this am I?”

He smirked “I wouldn’t bet on it. So what’s eating you kid? You know you can tell me.”

I rolled my eyes and cast him a small smile “Well besides those shorts? Just… stuff”

“Well, well… look who knows how to crack a joke.” he laughed, shaking his head at me. “But really Micki, what’s wrong? Don’t you want to enjoy the party with your sisters?”

“I’m not so great with large crowds. Heck, I’ve never been good with people.” I chuckled to myself.

“Aw come, I heard that “someone” had some big news to announce.” he winked.

“Big news? What big news?”

“COME ON YOU TWO! We are about to sing happy birthday.” Papa shouted from the sliding glass door.

“Come on Mick, time to sing!”

What was he talking about? What kind of news does someone have?

My parents brought the cakes to the counter, and we all sang happy birthday to my sisters. The entire time though, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of someone have big news, that I didn’t hear about! It was really irking me!

“Happy Birthday!”

New trait is friendly

New trait is family-oriented

After we sang I waited patiently in my room, wondering when someone was going to say this “big news”. It was then, that my sister came in with a giant smile on her face.

“Oh my god! Makenzie your not going to believe what Jed just told Kaylee!” she gleamed, her smile spread ear to ear.

“What?” I sighed “Just tell me! I’ve been waiting forever.”

“Jed offered Kaylee a job at the new fashion industry in Apploosa plains! There starting a sister company, and Jed is making Kaylee a head designer!” she nearly shouted.

“Wow.” I said nearly emotionless “That’s great for Kaylee.”

“Great for- NO! It’s great for us too! Micki we’re moving there with her! Dad said that he doesn’t want what happened to him, to happen to us. What ever we decide to do, he’s going to support in anyway he can. Plus Jed knows this guy at an art gallery down there, and he’s looking for new pieces!”

“WAIT. We have to… move?” I swallowed a lump in my throat, my stomach twirling in knots.

“Aren’t you excited?!”

Excited?! How could I be excited for this?! I finally came to the decision I’ve been trying to decide for nearly 4 months, and then we’re just dropping everything and leaving?! Screw that stupid job!

“Why would I be?!” I cried out, tears streaming down my face “You can’t make me leave him!! Not after all this!”

“Micki… if your talking about Jeremy. You don’t need him! You can do so much better sweet heart.” she frowned, trying to place her hand on my shoulder.

I jolted away and screamed, “Stop it! All of you just STOP! I don’t need anyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. This is MY life!! Screw that stupid job, I’m not going anywhere without him!”

I took off out the front door, and dashed down the street. How dare they think they can separate us?! I’m not going to let them!!

I slipped my phone out of my pocket, my hand shaking in fear “Hello?” Came a voice from the other line, and my heart lifted.

“Jer-Jeremy? I-I… I want you to meet me somewhere.”

“Why? What happened!? Are you okay?” he demanded, his voice growing worried.

“I just really need to get something off my back.”

Bonus Stuffz:

This is Lear and Jackie’s new kids. You know? The ones that were born awhile ago, but I totally forgot to take pictures of ._. /fail. There twins and their names are Natosha and.. wait for itttt…. BUBBA! /double fail Why game? WHHHY? What kind of name is Bubba? XD

Here’s teen Jackson! 🙂 I love him<3

Lol I just thought this was funny! xD So this is what Jed does in his free time! 😛

Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter was kind of crappy 😦 I’m still getting over my sickness, but I really wanted to get this chapter out of the way. If you couldn’t tell Micki is REALLY struggling with something mentally. Jed already foiled my plans, if you saw his comment. (That’s why you get to be shirtless! xP) Plus I couldn’t wait to get out of Ocean Breeze. Dumb patch screwed it up. Don’t worry AP is totally glitch free 🙂 I’m excited to use pets in this generation!