Authors note: Yea, it’s me again… with yet another warning. This time for “mature” actions. If you catch my drift… It can be kind of descriptive, so if you don’t want to read it or are offended by it, then please skip it. Thanks!
Makenzie’s Point of View
How dare they think they can just snatch me up, and throw me somewhere else? Some forsaken country town, where I obviously don’t belong. Screw them! Screw all of them! I’m going to do what I want, and that’s be with Jeremy. The man I love.
After that tear filled phone call, I ran to Jeremy’s house. And let me just tell you, I made no attempt to look back. I didn’t care how many times my phone buzzed in my pocket, or the echoes of my name came trailing down at me. This was my life, and MY choice. Jeremy moved from his parents house, so they had no idea where I would be. That’s just the way I wanted it too…
So after all of that, I waited at the bottom of his steps. Tears still trickling from my eyes, and my arms gripped around my body. The breeze in the air was biting at my ears, and my body shook – Covered in goosebumps.
I was lost so deep in thought,- from my anger making me have this boiling rage – that I didn’t even notice when Jeremy came up, and stood right in front of me.
“Hey.” Was him humble answer, to break me from my thoughts and come back to reality. I lifted my head to face him, and blinked back a few tears.
“Jer-Jeremy.“I coughed out, standing quickly to my feet. We both stared at each other for a little bit, unsure of how to come about this awkward moment.
We continued to stare, and shuffle our feet in the gravel, until I grabbed him close. I held onto him tight, and just cried into his shoulder. I was just so scared to let him go. I obviously didn’t want to lose him anymore than I thought I had already.
“There-There trying to take me from y-you. My parents are trying to force me to move almost 6 hours away!” My hands were clenched tight onto the back of his shirt. My knuckles turned white from how hard I was holding on. My speech was broken from my uncontrollable cries, and honestly I thought I was going to lose it altogether.
He gripped my head in his hands, and shushed me. Telling me it was going to be alright, and that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he wouldn’t let them separate us.
We continued standing there like that until an idea popped into my head. Looking back at it now, I don’t think it was the brightest… but I was under a lot of emotional trauma. My brain just wasn’t thinking like it should be.
“Jeremy?” I pulled back from him, looking into his eyes “Come with me.”
He stared at me puzzled, unsure of what I meant. I tugged on him arm, pulling him closer and closer to the house. “Come on.”
I stumbled up the steps, because he was still reluctant to come. He was clueless to say the least, but after I kissed him… he caught on pretty fast. We almost fell through the front door, because our kisses were forceful and full of hormones. We stopped dead center of the living room, where he pressed himself closer to me. That’s where I felt this bulge in his pants, that threw me completely off guard. I pulled back from him slightly, but he only tried pulling me closer.
“Wa-wait.” I stuttered, backing out of his grip. “I want to do this right.”
He nodded his head in agreement, then pressed his lips against mine once again.
“I meant that I want to do this in a private area, Jeremy. Not in the living room of your friends house.” I sighed, pushing him back once more.
“Alright babe.” he breathed heavily, his words pouring out aroused and full of eagerness.
I was taken back by how hot and heavy he was getting so quickly. I’ve never done anything like this before, so the intensity of it all was so nerve wrecking. But I planted it in my mind that I was going to do this, so to move things I along I slipped off my t-shirt, leaving my pants still intact. With me doing this, it gave Jeremy the red flag to go ahead and get almost completely naked.
The site of him being like this brought my breaths to become shallow, and my mouth dry. I was becoming more and more unsure of myself, and everything that was happening. NO! You can’t do this to yourself Micki. This is what you want, and this is what your going to get. So I pressed my lips against his once more, and he felt my body up and down. His touch made shivers run up my spine, and moans to leave my mouth.
Ending the long and power-filled kiss, I drew back and climbed onto his bed. Leaning my half naked body against his backboard, I called for him seductively, patting the empty space next to me. He gave me this shy smile, nearly making me unsure of what he was thinking. It wasn’t until his boxers were completely off, and a condom was slipped on, that I realized he was all for it.
He climbed on top of the bed, crawling up at me. My heart was racing 1000 beats per second, and my eyes wide with anticipation. He pulled at my legs, causing me to slip down onto my back. He climbed over top of me, and just held himself above me, staring into my eyes.
He brushed my hair back, and whispered “You ready?”
I blinked a couple times, then nodded my head yes. He gave me another kiss before yanking off my jeans and tossing them on the floor. Next thing I knew my underwear was around my ankles, and my virginity was gone.
I closed my eyes tight as the pain fell through me from each and every thrust. Tears forced themselves to show, leaking slowly down my cheeks. It was then, and only then… that, that horrible flashback came back into my mind. The one I should have remembered all along. I’m such an idiot!
“Now this is where were suppose to be. How hard was that?”
Before he even had the chance to finish, I shoved him off of me and pulling my underwear up as I stumbled out of his bed. Of course being the typical man that he is, he screamed at me and asked me what I was doing!?
I crawled into the corner of his room, and gripped myself up. Crying hard into my knees, cursing at myself for being such a stupid idiot. How could I actually think I loved him?! He raped me! For gods sake… he RAPED me! That isn’t someone you love, it’s someone you bring to the police and have locked away. Or in his case, brought to a mental hospital for some serious help! How could I do this?!? WHY Micki! Why! I was so blinded. My mind just wanted to defend him, because I still saw my Jeremy. I still saw the man who would beat the crap out of bullies for me, and clean up my wounds at his parents house. The man who would stay up late with me on Saturday nights, and watch scary movies until we both passed out on each other. I thought that if I had real sex with him, or actually told myself I loved him… it would actually come true.
God, I was so wrong.
He climbed out of his bed, putting on his boxers on his way over to me. I could feel his eyes piercing the top of my head when he was finally there, so I reluctantly looked up.
“Micki?! What’s wrong with you. I was- Well you know! You messed me up!” he growled, his eyes narrowed.
I stood to my feet. More tears pouring from my eyes. “I CAN’T!” I blurted out “I can’t sleep with you. I can’t be with you, and I can’t… I can’t… love you.”
He took a step back. “What are you freaking talking about?! You can’t love me?! What the heck was all the crap outside then? You lied to me?!”
I sighed loudly, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Jeremy. I tried okay? I really did. But I realize I don’t love you, I just love who I thought you were. Having sex with you only brought me back to reality! The images of you raping me flashed into my mind as I laid there. How could I ever have a healthy relationship with a man who clearly needs help!”
He scoffed. His voice low and dangerous. “Get out of my house. I’m done with you! If you can’t love me, for me, then I sure as heck can’t love you. I waited long enough, and this is the thanks I get? Screw off Makenzie! Go back to your faggot parents, and don’t ever speak to me again.”
My mouth hung open. “Are you serious? Your actually going to treat me like this, after what you did to me? Even after you’ve drunk dialed me AFTER the time you raped me? To think I STILL gave you a chance? You know what? I don’t care. I’m out of here!”
“Good, get out. I don’t need you!” he shouted pointing for the door “GO! NOW!”
That jerkhole didn’t even give me a chance to get dressed. He just threw an old hoodie at me and screamed for me to leave. Not like I wanted to stay anyways, but I was still hurting inside. I know my words came out harsh, but-but… I never thought he would ever talk to me like that! He was my best friend.
My feet hit the cold pavement, thudding hard as I ran. My tears swiped back behind my ears as I ran against the cold wind. I never even took a look back to see if he was watching. I was too upset to do anything. I just wanted to go home, and hold my parents – never letting them go.
I burst through the front door, screaming for my parents.- No one answered. Oh god. They probably went looking for me, and now I’m going to be all alone! What have I done?! I threw my face into the my hands, the sleeves of his hoodie becoming soaked with tears. What made it worse was the jacket smelled like him. How could I get him out of my head, if his smell was entering in and out of my nose!?
“PA-PA … DADDY!”
Nearly seconds after I screamed for my parents again, Lia came tailing around the corner. Her mouth hung open, her eyes wide with fear. Obviously she was frightened by my demeanor, but I didn’t care. I just wanted her to hold me.
“Oh my god! Makenzie what happened to you!?” Her screeches filled the house, echoing against bare walls. I cried harder, then threw myself into her.
She coddled me. Brushing her fingers throw my tangled hair. My tears caused her to break down and cry with me. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for what ever I had been through. She kept asking me over and over to tell her what happened, but I would only shake my head in her shoulder, crying over again.
By this point, Kaylee came out of the bathroom. Her hair damp, and smells of shampoo trickling from her. Most likely she had just gotten out of the shower, and was unaware of the ruckus going on.
“Oh my god!” she exclaimed, bringing herself nearer to me “Is she alright?! What happened?”
Lia kept patting my back, and rocking me in her arms. She turned to Kaylee shaking her head and saying “I have no idea. She won’t tell me. Here take her into her room and get her into something warm, I need to call Dad and Papa. Tell them she’s alright, so they can stop looking.”
Lia let go of her grip on me, and told me to follow Kaylee. She whipped out her cell phone before I walked off, and called Dad on the phone.
“Hey Dad? It’s Lia. Yea, Makenzie just came in the door right now. She’s really upset. No I don’t know what happened, she won’t tell us. She just keeps crying and holding onto us. Just please come home, you two need to talk with her. Love you too.”
Kaylee helped me out of the hoodie, and into some clean PJ’s. She helped shush my crying, and then finally turned to ask me what happened once more. I shook my head at her, puckering out my lip as to start to cry once more. She lifted her hand awkwardly behind her head, and told me it was alright.
“Please don’t cry anymore Micki.” she sighed, adverting her eyes away “It kills me to see you this upset. Just please tell me what he did to you this time.”
She said it so boldly. Like she knew it was him. Not even asking.
I didn’t even express any emotion when she said that. I just walked completely past her, and crawled into my bed. I was already done talking – or crying – about this. He hurt me, I hurt him, then he hurt me again. It’s safe to say we aren’t meant for each other. Jeremy just needs help, and I need to stay away from men.
“Micki please don’t be like this!” she snapped at me “You know we hate it when you seclude yourself away from us! We’re your family, why won’t you talk to us?”
Her words grew louder, but I continued to ignore her and pulled the blanket over my head. She groaned, then stomped away, flicking off the light as she did so.
My parents tried. My sisters tried. No one could get me to say anything. Usually in terrible situations I would moan or tell them to leave me alone. Nope. I was completely silent, and even though I hate to admit it… they were scared for me. I have NEVER shut them out where I didn’t even make a sound. I felt bad, but I felt worse about everything that happened.
In the middle of the night, around 4 am, I woke up from another nightmare. It’s always the same thing, or close to the same thing. Me in a house with this dark creature touching me, moving his hands around near my face, bringing this cloth near my mouth. I hated it. The only thing that could help me escape was writing. I could unleash all my frustrations into my stories. I had already written a novel about this girl named Liberty and her fight to be free from the clutches of this evil man. Now I think I’ll write about a stressed girl trying to make it in such a cruel world. Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
Micki Myra Marie Plenty. The girl who tried to live a fairytale, but when reality came crashing down… so did everything she believed in.”
The house was silent. The only known sound was coming from the heavy breaths from my mouth. I was alone, but felt a presence around me. I sat calmly on this small bed, in this tiny room. The light shade next to me wouldn’t turn on, so I was forced to stay in the dark.
The silence of the house was soon disrupted by slow creaking of the floor boards. Each step that the figure took made my heart beat a little faster, and my throat close up. I wanted to move, but I had no where to go. I was trapped inside this room, with no escape. I had to face the figure, and pray that I lived.
It was blurry but for the first time I actually could make out his face. It looked so familiar, but I had no idea who this man was. As it turned out the figure that haunted me was in fact a real person. To actually see his face caused me to jump, and my heart to race. He called out my name so lifelessly, and that’s when I awoke from my sleep with a cold sweat.
I didn’t even realize I fell asleep until it was too late. One moment I’m packing, the next I’m dreaming about creepy men I’ve never meant. GOD! Can I ever win? I’m trying to move on with my life, and yet, my dreams – scratch that, NIGHTMARES are always following me around, popping their ugly heads into my life. Moving was a hard task. Moving when you didn’t have the strength, will power, or a freaking care in the world about… made it that much harder.
“Please just let this moving thing be over so I can get on with my life. It’s been weeks and I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore. Can’t I just give up? Seems like a good plan to me.” I told myself out loud. I sounded terrible, but it’s how I felt. It’s funny how one moment in your life, can screw you up so badly.
That dreadful day finally came. We were going to be driving 6 hours to Appaloosa Plains, and we hadn’t even left yet and I was already feeling that detachment phase people go through when there going to leave houses they grew up in. I held my head down low as I took one last look around my old room. This is it Makenzie. Your life is going onto bigger and better things.
That’s what I told myself, but I didn’t even believe it. What’s so great about starting over?
My Pa Pa came in, only smiling slightly when he saw my reaction to everything. He didn’t try and force me to get into the car, but he did nudge the idea that it was time to go. I sighed loudly, and shook my head. I guess this is it.
“You ready to get going kiddo?”
I nodded. “Yea. I guess so.”
I started for the door, but he stopped me. I glared, completely puzzled and he opened his mouth to speak.
“Listen and listen good.” he started “You. Makenzie Destiny Terrey. Are a beautiful, and strong young lady. No matter what others have told you, or what you may tell yourself, it will always be the god honest truth, that you are an amazing person. It shouldn’t matter what some jerk boy said to you. If he can’t accept what you’ve told him, then he is no-good and never will be. Makenzie, I love you with all my heart, and so does your Dad and sisters. We care for your safety and your happiness, and it kills us to see you hurt. Baby girl, no matter what you and your sisters will always be first in our lives. No matter what you do, or go through… WE will be here for you, because we love you. I know I’m just dad, talking your ear off… but I mean every word I’m saying. Your special, and you deserve the best there is. Your a princess, and should be treated as such!”
My mouth whimpered, and a tear fell from my eye. I’ve never had my Pa Pa say so much at one time. Of course I’ve heard them say sweet things to me all my life, but I always brushed it off. But to be stopped in my tracks, and be told things I would never ever tell myself, lifted my heart. I thanked my father so much for being here for me, and I apologized for everything I had done. He just smiled, and kissed the top of my head saying that he forgave me along time ago. Heck, he couldn’t even be angry at me. Both him and my dad.
“Well.” he laughed “Now that we got that off our chest, do you think your ready to go now sweet heart?”
“As long as I get shot gun!”
He laughed harder. “Oh alright. We’ll make your dad sit in the back!”
“Sounds good to me!” I laughed in return, following my Pa pa out to the car, saying my final good bye to where I grew up.
We left our old house at 6:30 am, and arrived at our new house around 1 o’ clock. We were all completely exhausted, and couldn’t wait to get into our beds and conk out. Our new house was AMAZING, and so much bigger than our old one! My parents told me it wasn’t easy to get this house, nor was it cheap, but it was worth it.
The moment I got out of the car, I made a beeline for the house. Before I even had a chance to bolt it up the steps my Pa pa called over to me, giving my Dad this sly grin. What were they doing now?
“Come on Micki. I have something I want to show you.”
I sighed, then smiled. “Alright, alright. Let’s make it quick though, I’m SO fu- Err… freaking tired.”
My Pa pa glared at me, then rolled his eyes.
“What?” I laughed, following him out back of our new house.
“Pa pa what is this all ab-” I froze. My whole demeanor changed, and a smile spread across my face. I didn’t know if it was the shock or the excitement, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my entire LIFE!
“I don’t believe it!!”
A FOUL! A baby horse! A freaking PONY! What ever you wanted to call it, that’s what it was. I can’t believe my parents got me a horse. It’s like every little girls dream! Just in time for my birthday too! Could this get any better?!
“You got me a horse? Oh Pa pa! He’s beautiful!” I gleamed, nearly jumping up and down.
“SHE.” he laughed “And her name is Shadow. Her poor mother was killed, and the guy who sold her to me said she was too stubborn to keep. He said he was either going to put her down, or let her go. I felt so bad, so I bought her. She’s a frisky little thing, and really hot-headed. Reminds me of someone.” he winked at me, before trying to give shadow a little pet. She whinnied, lowering her ears to him. Wow he wasn’t kidding! She really is a tough cookie.
I love her already.
Upstairs Entertainment room / Bathroom
Thanks for reading!! I’m really sorry if I’m bumming you guys out with these chapters. I don’t mean to make them sound so depressing, but everything I do leads to the next part of Micki’s life. Shadow is a mean little thing! She doesn’t let anyone in easily, and she’s very secluded. Doesn’t that sound like Makenzie? Lol. Hope this chapter was okay! It’s safe to say I’m over my sickness 🙂 Thanks for all the “get wells” and sweet comments<3 Love all you guys!!
Next chapter will have a simself update! 🙂