Mankenzie’s Point of View
Alright. Let’s try this AGAIN! “Come here, Shadow. Come on girl.”
She was a little hesitant, but reluctantly came closer and sniffed my hand. I guess that’s some kind of start, eh? Just last week she nearly kicked my head off! I love the challenge of trying to win her over, but sometimes it gets really nerve wrecking! Honestly? Not in the mood to be in the hospital. Thanks…
Shadow’s traits are: Aggressive, Untrained, and Fast. For those of you who wanted to know. 🙂
Alright so maybe it was stupid to actually try and pet her. I just want her to know that I don’t wanna hurt her, but she just doesn’t seem to get that. Sometimes I really wonder what her last owner put her through for her to be this… Oh how do you say it… crabby? She shuts everyone out. I have to force feed a bottle down her throat just to get her to eat! She kicks, and whinnies the whole way, but I can’t let her starve. My parents suggested taking her back, – because they didn’t think she would be this bad – but I of course said NO. I’ve grown attached this sour pony, and I’m not going to give up on her that easily!
“Alright, I get it. No touching. Gotcha’.”
“You know?” I let out a sigh “Your not the only one who feels this way. I don’t let people in easy either. I guess you could say we’re more alike than you think.”
It’s funny how easily I can talk to a horse, but not to my own family. Anytime a topic comes up about anything I don’t like, I become a mute. I don’t say a word, and just hibernate in my cave.. err.. room. It’s been weeks though, and I haven’t had a single nightmare, or any thoughts about you-know-who. I guess you could say things were looking a little up for me, but I never trust it to last. It never does.
“Just go back in your pen, Shadow. I guess we’re not crossing the “I hate you stage.” yet. ” Sighing, I opened her gate and she trotted in like she meant business. Well alright then slick. If that’s how your gonna roll.
Boredom is the definition of Appaloosa Plains. There’s nothing to do, and no where to go. Alright, there’s a lot of places to go, I just… don’t. I’m not free-spirited like my twin sisters. I just can’t walk up to any Sally or Joe and start chit-chatting like I’ve known them my whole life. It takes me a while to get use to anyone, if I ever decide to ever TALK to them. I guess you can say I’m a messed up case, but that’s just me.
Instead of rotting my brain in front of the T.V like I’ve been doing for the past few weeks, I decided to start working on my novel again. I like writing short stories about different things, but moving has put a mini pause in my creativity. I can’t get inspired if all I’m looking at are trees and my stubborn freaking pony.
Taking a short break in my writing, I decided to open up my e-mail and see if Kim ever got back to me. I’ve been wanting her to come down for my party, but I haven’t had much luck in contacting her. Her phone number was disconnected, so, uh, that didn’t really help much.
In the mist of my obnoxious mouse clicking, my phone nearly had a stroke on my dresser. It was buzzing loud, and fell onto the carpet. It only ever does that when someone leaves me a voice-mail.
I slid out from the desk, then went over and swiped the phone off the floor, and called my voice-mail. I waited past the annoying automated voice, before the message started to play. I really wondered who it was, considering the number was unknown.
“HEY WITCH! You ruined… my… life! It’s yer fault that I have to jack off to pictures of you! Why’d you have to run out on ME!? I LOVED YOU! I-” Click. I couldn’t listen to it anymore! I felt like I was going to throw up if I did. Didn’t I say it?! Nothing good ever last in my life!! There’s always someone or something getting in the way. How dare that jerk drunk dial me, and accuse me of ruining his life?! HE RUINED MINE!
I almost did it. I almost jumped in my bed, threw the covers over my head and cried myself into another depression. No. I couldn’t. Instead I held my head low, and slowly drug myself upstairs. I needed to get my mind off it. He’s not going to get to me again! HE’S NOT!
Crap. My dad was already upstairs, and watching some stupid judge show nonetheless. I decided that maybe he’d be too distracted to even notice I was there. So I sucked it up, and gently placed myself next to him. I don’t know if he has some god-like powers, or parents actually have a radar… but the INSTANT I sat down, his head shot over at me and he asked me what was wrong. HOW THE HECK!?
Of course being the sensitive girl that I am, hearing my father try to comfort me… made my eyes let a couple tears loose. UGH…
Instead of fighting with my very persistent father; I gave in. “It- I-” Sigh “Jeremy drunk di-dialed me.”
Of course the very next thing out of his mouth was, “What did he say?” All parents are so typical. They have to know every little detail. Can’t they just leave it alone?
I sighed louder “He… He just said some cruel things. I don’t really want to repeat it. Can’t we just stop talking about it, and watch this crappy show instead?”
Noooo… why would he do that? Instead he sighed, and shook his head in shame. What was that for? He opened his mouth to speak, but it was like it was too difficult for him to say. What is he hiding?
“Makenzie.” he started “I think it’s time I told you that we’re going to make you an appointment with a therapist. I’m so worried about you all the time, that is gives me stomach aches. I constantly want to know what’s wrong, yet you don’t ever tell us! So, I think it would be in your best interest if you went to one…”
My jaw dropped. A therapist?! I don’t want to talk to some strange old guy about my problems! Why would he think I would want something like that?!
“HECK NO!” I shouted, quickly jumping to my feet.
“Makenzie!” he glared, his eyes narrowed at me. “Don’t talk to me like that!”
What do I care?! He’s trying to set me up with some doctor, so he can calculate me as some crazy person! No thank you!
“Pa pa would never let me go to some doctor! I’d expect something like this from Lia, not you dad!”
He sighed AGAIN. “Makenzie… it was your Pa pa’s idea, not mine, but I agreed with it! You won’t talk to us, you won’t talk to your sisters, what other choice do we have? You need to tell someone wants going on inside your beautiful little head, otherwise your going to be miserable forever. It’s too much for someone to keep bottled in, no matter how old you are.”
I started to storm away, but then I turned to him and scoffed “So that’s it?! I have no say in this at all? It’s just “Makenzie your going to tell a stranger your problems, and I don’t care what you think!” You can’t do this to me! I’m suppose to make my own decisions!”
“Makenzie you have to believe me when I tell you, this is our last resort! We just want to see you happy sweet heart. We love you.” he smiled, trying to reach out for me. I pushed away and just glared at him.
“So when do I have to be forced to go to this stupid doctor?”
I gasped, my anger filling back up again ” A DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY!? Oh that’s it. Screw you both!” The nerve of him! Both of them!
I took a frustrated shower, then stormed outside to where Shadow was napping. I guess you could say I got a little too mad about the whole situation. The hay bale didn’t even see me coming.
“STUPID PARENTS!” ARG “STUPID DOCTORS!” Crap! Stupid hay, getting in my eyes!! Will there ever be a day where I win? When is it Makenzie’s turn to smile and say I actually had a GOOD day. It seems almost impossible. No, wait… It IS impossible.
Yippee, it’s my birthday… And if you can’t tell, I’m saying that with more sarcasm then you could ever imagine. I wasn’t excited for this day! It’s a bunch of bull if you ask me. Everyone gathering together for my special day, yet I feel like crap. What’s so special about that? The only thing amusing was watching my parents co-workers.
Kaylee smiled. “Hey Mr. Huckleberry. Tell Rose I said get well soon! I know shes been sick the last two days. She sounds like she swallowed a frog!”
“Of course Kay, and you know you can call me Lear.” he chuckled.
“So…” she coughed “Is your brother coming too? How’s he adjusting to Appaloosa Plains?”
Lear rolled his eyes, “Yea he’s coming, and he’s doing alright I guess. He’s not used to living in this type of environment. Callie told me he cried cause he didn’t want to leave Ocean Breeze! Tiger took it better than him! Big baby.”
I stifled a giggle when I heard that, and Kaylee smirked at me. Oh crap. I hate getting caught listening to other peoples conversations!
To get away from that awkwardness, I stepped outside only to see Callie laughing. I didn’t quite catch on until I looked off to the side.
“Sweetie. Please stop messing with that horse…” Callie remarked, trying to hold back laughter.
“I was just trying to pet it!! Dumb horse spit on my pants. Your not a llama why are you spitting on people!” he sulked, wiping the stuff off his leg. Seeing that made me actually crack a smile. Thata girl Shadow! Don’t let no one mess with you!
It wasn’t until he started yelling at Shadow that I started roaring with laughter. I couldn’t believe how mad he got at some horse spit! It was just too much for me!
“Listen here punk, no one spits on me and gets away with it! Just ’cause your a horse doesn’t mean I won’t try to whoop your butt! So there!” he growled at a very confused shadow. Instead of taking in any of the yelling Shadow just brushed past him, nearly knocking him over!! TOO FUNNY!
“CALLIE! Did you see that!? That horse is evil! You saw right? Right?” he pointed at Shadow, glaring at his wife.
Callie giggled “Yea hun, I saw it all. Now please come inside the house… your attracting too much attention… again.”
“Now, Sebie!!” she demanded.
“Ugh, finnne!” he groaned, dragging his feet the whole way into the house.
I guess you could say my party started out miserable, but nearing towards the end I could actually say I was having a good time. I got to laugh at my dad’s co-worker, and ease drop all in one day! Then Jed arrived, and me and him got-to-talking about just any random stuff we could think about.
“So, how’s your new place?” I smiled, awaiting his response.
“Oh it’s so cool! It’s big, and … well, it’s just really big. I’ve never had so much space to just to what ever I wanted!” he exclaimed, continuing on about… well pretty much about how big it was. It made me laugh at how amazed he was by the size of his house, but it’s too be expected here! Lots of houses are basically built to be ranches. So there going to be HUGE.
“I think you forgot to mention how big it was.” I joked, poking my tongue out at him.
“OH, ha ha! Very funny… You know what I meant! I’m just not use to it, is all! Weren’t you surprised by how big your house was?” he laughed, shaking his head at me.
I had to admit. I was very impressed by the size and how amazing the house was. “Yea I guess so. So, is my sister doing a good job in your books?”
He nodded his head and smiled “She’s doing a wonderful job! I couldn’t have asked for a better person to help me with the new company. Not only does she get her job done, her and Rose are always making me laugh! I love being in a fun-filled environment. It makes working with… clothes easier.”
“What’s wrong with clothes? You’d rather work naked?” I laughed at my own joke, and he rolled his eyes.
“NO!” he smirked “It’s just, I’m a guy… and clothes gets… well, boring. It’s not my fault I was choosen to take over my uncles company. I told you before, I couldn’t sell it! It would make me feel bad. Plus it’s good money!”
I laughed at him, “I’m just teasing you Jed. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
He laughed louder “Me? Did you see that guy messing with your horse? That’s panties in a bunch!”
“Ha ha! You mean Rose’s Uncle?”
“Oh.” he chuckled “That’s her uncle? My bad!” He stopped laughing. Then there was this pause, we looked at each other, then laughed again! It was just too much. Sebie was really asking for it from Shadow!
God, it felt good to laugh. I don’t know, maybe my dad was right. I can never talk about my problems to my family, but when it comes to other people, it’s just like… I’m a totally different person. I feel different around other people, and words just seem to flow. I guess I’m just worried that my parents will judge me or some crazy stuff like that. I know it’s not true, but try telling that to my brain. It does all the thinking for me. No pun intended…
After joking around a bit more with Jed, my Pa pa called me down to the cake. It was getting pretty late, and they didn’t want to keep people around forever. So, I dragged Jed down the stairs with me and into the kitchen. Everyone gathered around and sung happy birthday to me. I blew out my candle, and wished for the obvious.
Her new trait is workaholic I believe… Don’t quote me on that one though.
Alright I lied. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be near here… heck, I don’t even know why I woke up this early to come here!! Honestly I don’t know what was going through my mind yesterday to agree to this!
My parents paid for a 2hr-session, so I couldn’t miss it. DANG IT! I guess I’ll just have to forbear it for now, then just ditch anymore sessions that should come after this.
I sat there for a good 10 minutes just twiddling my thumbs, or maybe I was reading the magazine on the table? The point is the guy was late. Not that I cared. I just hoped it went into the session time! 10 minutes I didn’t have to waste listening to some old fart try to get me to open up.
He stormed through the door nearly seconds later, bolting across the room to his desk. “Sorry, sorry!! I got caught up in the lobby with a patient of mine. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, uh,” he looked at the file “Miss Terrey.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t mind waiting.” Well I didn’t! “Now, are we gonna get started or something?”
“Yes of course!” he smiled, taking a seat across from me.
Wow. Not what I was expecting. When he sat down, I just couldn’t stop looking at him. In my mind I pictured some old wrinkly guy with a bald head, and a beard. Not… well…
That. He looked old enough to be my big brother! Not my therapist! Oh god, this was going to get so weird. How am I suppose to talk to some dude in his twenties about my problems? I actually think I want an old guy who’s heard everything from hell and back! This guy looks like he just stepped out of college! UGH!
“I’m Dr. Caleb Worth, but you can just call me Caleb. Makenzie. If you don’t mind me calling you that? ” I shook my head at him, and he continued “Where would you like to begin? Anything specific bothering you?”
Alright this isn’t going to work! “Listen, pal. This is just too weird. You look like your 24! How am I suppose to open my heart to you? When your not much older than me? Besides, aren’t you too young to be doing this kind of thing?”
He chuckled “23 actually.” OH! That made me feel MUCH better. I guess we should continue on now, since he’s 23!! God… this just doesn’t seem normal.
“Right, listen… do you have an old almost retired guy that could do this?” I sighed, rubbing my temples.
“Well, I can assure you that I can do this just as much as anyone who’s… “almost retired.” It may be my first year, but I’ve been practicing over the course of 5 years in college. It’s safe to say I know what I’m doing, Makenzie.” he smiled reassuringly.
I can tell this guy wasn’t going to give up. SO I did. “Alright fine. But don’t expect me to get all comfy, and tell you my inner most thoughts. You can hear those when you turn 65 and been in this business your whole life.” What? I want my secrets taken to the grave! Not the frat house!
He let out a small chuckle. “Alright Makenzie. Your the boss. Just tell me what you think I can handle.”
Hmmm, sounds reasonable…
DON’T judge me! He has a way with words that just gets to you! He makes you feel like your in control, so you don’t have to worry about him putting pressure on you! One moment I was scoffing in his face, and refusing to tell him anything… to actually mentioning my nightmares and telling him a little bit about Jeremy. I couldn’t believe I gotten that far with him!!
“So this Jeremy, how did your fight actually happen?” he questioned, his eyes and ears very alert.
“Well…” I coughed, trying to get the words out “He just, he-“
“It’s okay.” he smiled “Just take your time. You don’t have to rush yourself.”
I actually smiled back at him. “Thanks, Caleb. It’s just talking about him, and what he put me through is very stressful. It hurts, yah know?” I sighed, lifting myself up.
“Yes, when people do wrong to you, it does hurt. It’s never something you can get over easily either. But I’m here to help you through it, alright? We’re going to make sure that Jeremy is something that stays very far in your past, to make your life seem brighter.”
Before I let things get to far, – and plus the 2 hours was over! – I climbed off the couch, and stretched. “Whelp.” I started “I guess it’s time for me to go.” It’s funny, because I didn’t think I would actually want to stay! I really do change my mind like my underwear. I swear to god on that.
He looked up at me, and smiled shyly. “Well, I’ll see you next week then. Same place, same time.”
I laughed, “I would hope it’s the same place. I don’t want to be driving around town trying to find you every time you move!”
He chuckled “I can assure you that I’m not going anywhere.”
“Well, okay then.” I smirked “See yah around.”
Wow. Just wow. Maybe it isn’t so hard to talk to a young guy? Who knows? Maybe it’s easier. An old geezer would probably bore me to sleep anyways. Guess that’s why it’s a couch instead of a chair. Eh, who knows?
I got home about 20 minutes later, and the second I stepped through the door I heard Lia screech! Oh god. I don’t need this right now. She’s going to bother me about my session, and ask me to tell her every detail! For god’s sake I went to therapy, not on a freaking date!
“Don’t move a muscle!! I’ll be right there!” she shouted from the Kitchen.
Yea. That’s what I don’t want…
“SO!” she squealed jokingly “Did you have a revelation!?”
Can I smack her? “OH YEA Lia. We had a heart-to-heart conversation, and I decided that I want to save trees and grow hair down to my butt! Then maybe me and you can go frolicking through the tulips, and peace will cover the earth!”
Slap. She smacked my bare arm! “Not funny! I was just wondering how it went. On a serious note though, do you feel any better?”
I strugged my shoulders. Honestly I didn’t know how I felt. I guess I felt a little lighter, to finally start to talk about my problems. Where it goes is beyond me…
“I don’t know… I guess.”
She smiled, then placed a kiss on my cheek “That guess is better than anything. Just as long as your happy, I’m happy.”
I laughed “Yea, yea… don’t go all happy-mush on me.”
After joking around a bit more with Lia, I went outside to see Shadow. I know me and her don’t see eye-to-eye yet, but I know we will eventually. She just needs some good old fashion TLC.
“Hey Shadow.” I spoke softly “It’s me, Micki. Um, how was your day?”
What? I don’t know what to say to a horse!
She walked closer to me, eying me up and down with her little ‘tude! I hated that she was so uptight, but it made me laugh to see an animal with such sass!
“Oh I see how it is. We’re still playing that game? Alright, but how about if I do-“
“THIS.” I walked up to her, and with force I grabbed her by the head and stroked her gently. She tensed up at first, but after a couple of pets she became calm. I couldn’t believe it!! She was actually letting me pet her! Wow, and I thought dreams never came true.
“Well, well!” I laughed “Has someone gotten soft on me already? Does this mean your going to stop spitting on me, and trying to decapitate me?”
She let out a small whinny, then nudged the lock on her pen.
“Oh. I get it, your just using me to get out of the pen. Smooth, Shadow. Very clever.” I chuckled, unlatching the gate.
When I let her out, I half expected her to take off around the yard like she usually does. She never goes away from our house, but she does love to run around like a crazed little lunatic! Yet again, makes me laugh so much! But no, instead she stayed near me, and just kept staring at me.
“What? You hungry or something?” I groaned, dreading the thought of trying to feed her. But I had no choice. When she gets hungry, I had to do what I had to do!
I picked up the bottle next to her gate, and shook it to get it ready. “Alright, Shadow. You know the drill.” I shoved the nipple into her mouth, and waited for the worst. But here’s the kicker… she actually accepted the bottle this time!! She just stood there suckling, and staring at me. I was in complete shock.
“Good girl Shadow.” I smiled, petting her snout “I knew I was smart to not give up on you. You just needed love that no on else would give you. Don’t worry. I’ll always love you.”
Thanks for reading everyone!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, as much as I enjoyed writing it. I would say this puts a light on the downers I’ve wrote, eh? But you never know where I’m going from here >:) Things may look good, but… oh you know me too well ;D