Makenzie’s Point of View
“Micki, please don’t stay up too late tonight. You know we have to go meet your sisters for lunch tomorrow!” Dad yelled on his way up to bed. I heard most of what he said, but my mind was clinging to the sound of my phone ringing in my ear. I finally did it. I mustered up enough courage to finally call Caleb. Sure it was late, but it was the only way I could catch him when he wasn’t busy, right?
After a few rings, I heard a loud sigh then his voice. My heart started beating so fast, I thought it would pop out of my chest. Everything about this man just makes me want to scream with joy! That so has to mean something.
“C-caleb. It’s me, Makenzie.” I sputtered out. My voice was kind of broken, and rushed. I hope he didn’t think I was some crazy person calling him like this.
“Makenzie? Is there something bothering you? I’m sorry but the office is closed, I was just on my way out the door, until you called.”
I didn’t know what to say to him, so I uhh… sorta panicked. “Caleb I really need to talk with you!” Crap. Now he’s really going to think I’m a nut.
Another sigh. Great, so at least I know he’s annoyed by me… “Listen. I open up tomorrow at 7:30, but you can come in an hour early if you really need me.”
6:30? An hour early? No! I don’t want to talk about my problems, I want to tell him how I feel! Jed told me I should go ahead and do it, and I trust him more than anyone!
So I made something up. Don’t judge me! “Caleb… this is really important. I can’t wait until tomorrow, I need to talk to you NOW.“
“I don’t normally invite my patients over to my house, but… I do on rare occasions. If you really need to speak with me, come on over in about an hour. We’ll talk and see if we can get your problem sorted out. Alright?”
“Um, uh, sure! Thank you!” SUCCESS! Now to just remember where he lived…
I mean, it didn’t take me long to figure out. Considering I asked before I got off the phone… but that’s not important. What really matters is that he made an exception! Just for me! I knew he cared for me, and I’m going to prove it tonight.
I swear I was driving down the highway so fast, I almost ran into a deer! Stupid excitement. I guess this is what it feels like to be really happy.
The lights were shining bright through the front door, so I’m guessing he was already home. I have to admit, I was really nervous about everything. I mean, what if he thought I was some mental case? What if he rejected me? What if… I just shut up! I can’t believe I’m thinking like this! Of course he’s going to like me, a girl can see the signs when a man is coming onto her.
So, I approached the door and gave it a gentle knock. When I didn’t see any movement inside the house I banged a little harder-
Until he finally opened up the front door. I stood there, just… staring. He was so handsome, and his smile always made my heart flutter.
Smiling he said “Are you just going to stand out in the cold, or would you prefer to come inside?”
I blushed at his statement. “Uhhh… I’d rather come in.”
He turned from me, making a beeline for the kitchen. “Well alright.” he said walking away “Just make yourself comfortable, and I’ll be right with you.”
I came through the front door then closed it gently behind myself. I just stared some more. Watching him walk away.
“Sorry, Makenzie.” he sighed, from the kitchen “I’m just really tired, and really need a little pick-me-up.”
I strugged my shoulders “It’s fine. I’m comfortable just waiting on the sofa.”
“Okay good.” he continued on “So what is bothering you, Makenzie? Does it have anything to do with your nightmares? Did Jeremy find a way to get a hold of you?”
“Um, no. Nothing like that.” I replied, a grin spread across my face. Here he is, thinking I have something wrong with me. When in reality, I’m preparing to tell him how I’ve felt for him all along.
He took a sip of his coffee and made an “Ahhhh” sound, before coming towards me on the sofa.
He placed his coffee on the table in front of us, then turned to speak. “So, it’s a new problem, eh? Well what’s bothering you, Makenzie?”
I didn’t even know where to begin with this! “I, uhhhh…..” My mind was drawing a blank, but he sat there patiently just staring into my eyes with this goofy grin.
“Caleb, there’s something I really need to tell you. Something I’ve been holding in for quite some time now.” I finally spoke out.
He tilted his head “You can trust me, right Mankenzie?” I nodded at him “Well… then you can tell me what ever it is you’ve been hiding. I’m all ears.”
I gulped back the lump forming in my throat and nodded once more “Caleb… I… I think I love you.”
He quickly sat back, his eyes wide. “You- Wait- What?”
Crap. This is not going how I planned it. “Caleb, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I just had to take the risk! You’ve helped me so much, and care for my feelings like no one else. Well, in your own unique way. There’s just something about you that draws me to you.”
He leaned forward. Both of us just sitting there in silence. He opened his mouth a couple times to say something, but then quickly closed it. Oh for crying out loud! I just poured out my heart, he can at least say something to me.
I sighed “Caleb, please say something.”
He looked at me with this confused expression, then shook his head “I don’t know what to say to that Makenzie.”
Don’t know what to say!? Just say you love me too! I know he does… he just has too.
I knew I was going to have to edge it out of him. I’m not sure if he was shy, or what ever… so I did what I had to. I inched over to him, and climbed on top of his lap.
“I know it’s hard to express yourself to someone. It took all my courage to just say that, but… I know that you feel the same way about me.” I grasped onto his face, letting our eyes just gaze into each other. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there taking in the whole situation.
Well, he didn’t push me off? That had to mean something…
“Makenzie…” he spoke softly, our eyes still looking into each others. I placed a finger to his lips, then reached in and kissed him gently. I pulled merely inches away, and just smiled. Resting my head onto his. As I was sitting there on top of him I felt the bulge in his pants begin to grow, and my face grew bright. I knew he liked me!
Everything was so perfect. The whole atmosphere around me felt just right. There was nothing that could ruin this for me.
Yea, well… at least I thought that. It wasn’t until he shoved me off, and flew to his feet that tension began to grow thick. “Makenzie!!” he shouted, wiping his mouth “I-I … I can’t!”
I was taken back “Can’t what?!”
He shook his head rapidly, anger growing in his voice “I can’t love you or even like you! It doesn’t matter if I want to or not, I can get fired if I have any sort of relationship with you!”
What?! Fired?! If he cares about me, what does that even matter? Jobs come and go, but he’s never going to find someone like me ever again. There’s only one of me.
“But… why does that even matter? Can’t you just find another job?” I sniffled, fighting back tears. God please. I don’t want to cry in front of this man!
He rubbed his temples, then frowned at me “Makenzie. I just- Your a very beautiful woman, but… I can’t risk losing my job, or my license to be a Therapist. I love my job, and I’d rather not get caught up with someone who is my patient. You have to see it from my point of view. Maybe if we didn’t know each other like this… or you weren’t someone who comes to see me for professional help, then I would have said sure. I’m really sorry, Makenzie.”
Alright. Cue the water works. He actually admitted he would date me, if I wasn’t a freak.
“So your saying if I wasn’t some mental case, you would date me? But because I am… you won’t?” I cried, tears now slipping down my cheeks.
He sighed then shook his head “Makenzie, that’s not what I meant! It’s just… it’s against my policy, and it just doesn’t seem right! Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to watch a girl cry.”
Well at least he has some kind of a heart…
“Look.” he started “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Your a wonderful girl, and any guy would be lucky to have you. I know where you’re coming from with this. You feel this special connection to me because I helped you through suck a dark time in your life. Makenzie, it’s my job to help people. It’s what I love to do. I treat all my patients with the same care and understanding. Please don’t let me be the one to ruin your happiness.”
Oh great. So he’s using his therapy crap to get inside my head again. I’m not letting him off this easy! I poured my heart out to this man, and he’s throwing it back in my face!
“You just don’t get it, do you?” I choked out “You were the one to help me see things in a different way! You helped me smile, and laugh. You gave me hope when no one else could. How could you say that doesn’t mean anything!?”
“Makenzie!!” he shouted “It’s my JOB to do that! But I’m not the one who made you do any of those things! Sure I gave you a pep back in your step, but there has to be someone else that made you smile and laugh. I talked you through your issues. I didn’t do anything else…”
No. I refuse to believe it. It’s him, it’s got to be! What about my dream?! The only dream I’ve ever had. It was a sign!
“Just… let me take you home Makenzie. Or maybe I can call your father and have him pick you up. What ever you feel more comfortable with. It’s getting really late, and I think it would be best if you slept. Your over-working yourself.” he sighed, gently grasping my arm. Right then and there… the spark was gone. I felt nothing as he touched me, which only caused my blood to boil.
He ruined everything! There was something there, and now it’s gone!
I was at my breaking point! “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” I screamed, smacking his arm away “If you don’t want me, then I don’t want you! I sure don’t need you anyways!”
“Save it! I’m tired of your rambling therapy crap! Keep it to yourself!”
And with that I bolted for the door. He screamed for me over and over, but I wasn’t about to look back! He broke my heart! The first time I ever think I found love, and he goes and smashes it with a brick. I just needed to get away from here, and I needed to do it fast!
I ran for my car, and booked it back to my house. The sun was now creeping over the horizon, telling me it was probably like 6 am. What did I care? Instead I ran out back of our house, where Shadow was nibbling on some hay. I hadn’t actually ever ridden her yet, but I was about to make right now the first. I needed to get out of here. Clear my head from everything. It may have been stupid, but it was the first thing that came to mind. So I saddled up Shadow, and tried my best to get on top of her. She whinnied and shook her head at me. I kept telling her it was going to be alright. Not that, that made a difference.
Another batch of tears slid down my cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away. Just, everything about this was so heart wrenching. I just wanted SOMEONE to love me for me. No flaws, no problems, nothing getting in the way. Just someone to care for me, and accept me just how I am.
Not like that’s ever going to happen. “Come on girl.” I gently tapped my foot to her side, and she started off down this long trail, leading from our house.
MY GOD! Shadow was so fast! I could barely keep up as to where she was riding, and what directions she turned. She kept swerving and almost running into countless trees! I tried stopping her, but she just wanted to RUN! Oh god… this was a mistake!
A really BAD mistake! No matter who hard I tried, she just wouldn’t ease up. I pulled and screamed, but she just went faster!! What the heck is wrong with this horse!? I SAID STOP!
“SHADOW, SLOW DOWN!!”
It wasn’t until we got closer into town that she started to slow up. Her fast paced gallop turned into more of a trot, which made my heart beat a little slower. I’m not saying she stopped but I was glad she wasn’t booking 80 mph anymore! At that same moment though, is when she saw this stupid raccoon near the side of a tree. At first glance Shadow got defensive, and threw herself up… and me off.
The stupid raccoon ran off, and Shadow calmed down. But it was already too late for me. On the fall I hit my head pretty hard, and my vision started getting really blurry. I tried to pick myself up, but I just came crashing down. It was safe to say, that I was out cold.
“You know I could never hurt you, right? And that you mean more than anything to me?”
I giggled “Of course.”
“Did you know, that when your not around me… I just can’t stop thinking about you?”
“I knew that. But did you know, that I love you more than you could ever imagine?” I smiled, slipping my hand into his.
That’s when I woke up. My head was pounding, and I was in my room. WAIT! How did I even get back in my room? Last thing I remember I was knocked off of Shadow, and left in the middle of the road. That didn’t even matter to me right now. It was… my dream. I couldn’t even believe it. Had I been that stupid? This whole time I was looking for love, and it … I mean he was staring me right in the face. I was blinded by what I thought was love, look how swell that turned out. Ow. My head. I need not to work myself up again.
“Makenzie Terrey. You have got a heck of a lot of explaining to do!!” My dad boomed, causing my head to throb. Oh god, why NOW?
My Pa pa sighed “Makenzie, what were you doing out on Shadow!? You could have gotten yourself killed! Your lucky that Caleb called us when he did! We found you about 10 miles from the house!”
“Exactly! Killed!! Listen to your Pa pa.” he fumed “But other than that, how do you feel? We were scared for you, but smartie over here said we should take you home. You don’t feel like you have a concussion or broken bones do you?”
I sat up and looked at them “No. I don’t feel like I have a concussion.” What does that even feel like? Maybe I should see a doctor…
“You know what? Forget it! Your going to the hospital right now!” he demanded, and Pa pa just rolled his eyes. I got up from the bed, feeling a bit woozy. I stumbled over to where my Dad was standing and wrapped him in a hug.
“Thanks for caring enough to come find me.”
“Caring enough!? I’m your father, of course I care!” he sighed, squeezing the dear life out of me!
He let go of me, then just stared my way. I knew he wasn’t finished. He never lets anything go by easily, does he? “Now tell me. What on god’s earth were you doing at Caleb’s house?! And WHY were you riding an untrained horse? Shadow loves you, but she’s not use to being ridden yet!”
I sighed loudly hanging my head low.”I was just trying- I- I don’t know. I was upset.” I’m a grown adult, but I don’t think my parents will ever stop treating me like a baby.
“Sweetie you know you can come to us, right?” Pa pa added in.
“Yea. You don’t always need Caleb. We’re here for you! We love you Makenzie!”
I strugged my shoulders. “Yea, I know.”
“Good. I’m glad that we got this established, because I’m so worn out.” Pa pa groaned “We’ve been waiting by your bed for nearly 7 hours. I’m old, I need my sleep.”
Dad nodded his head. “Good night Makenzie. Oh, and you have someone waiting out in the living room for you.”
Waiting for me? Oh please don’t tell me they went and got Caleb, or some new therapist. I’m done talking to anyone right about now.
“Yea, alright. I’ll be out in a few.”
But before I went and tried to go talk to this person, I decided that I wanted to call Jed. It was ringing it my head the second I woke up. I stood there, phone in hand. I scrolled down to where his name was… but I just couldn’t bring myself to it. We haven’t spoken in weeks, and I’m pretty sure he’s just mad at me. Now that I look back on it, I think I hurt him badly. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to speak to me again.
Sigh “There’s no point.”
I froze. The second I stepped out of my bedroom door, I was stuck in one position. THAT’S who wanted to speak with me?! Oh, this was just too weird. I was just about to call him. But other than the irony of him being there, I felt my stomach drop just by looking at him. Now that I knew the truth, I got butterflies by just thinking about it. What if he hates me now? What if he’s come to tell me he moved on? What- Alright I need to stop working myself up … AGAIN!
“Mick.” he smiled over at me “I’m so glad your okay. Your sister told me what happened, and I’ve been waiting for you to wake up ever since. I’m so glad to see your okay.”
“I… Uhhh…. me too. I mean, glad I’m okay too.” Smooth.
He got up from the chair and started walking over towards me. Oh god. This was it.
“Listen, I really need to get this out in the open. I’m about to burst if I don’t.” he started, his cheeks already starting to turn red.
I gulped. “Wh-what is it?”
He turned his head away, and started fumbling with his hair “I, uh. I wanted to tell you… I- Oh gosh.”
“Jed. It’s fine I already kn-“
“Makenzie, you make me crazy! I MEAN! … Your- Your just so beautiful. I think about you everyday, you never leave my mind. Everything about you just makes me smile. I don’t care what anyone says. Your perfect. You always will be perfect to me.”
My eyes glazed over. I-I thought he was going to say the total opposite. I had no idea-
“I know Makenzie. You don’t want to be with me, your silly best friend. You want someone like Caleb. Someone who gets you. But Makenzie, I do get you! I understand everything you tell me. I know I’m just rambling now, but I just had to tell you how I felt.”
“Jed. I wasn’t-“
“But just let me say this. If you ever do change your mind, or even if you don’t… I’ll still always be here for you because I-… because I love you.“
Oh for heaven’s sake! “JED!”
“I love you too.”
Thanks for reading! I hope this explains everything now! I know a lot of you were for Jed, then others for Caleb. Then some in the middle. But I hope this answers everyone’s questions, and makes complete sense. Makenzie finally realized that Caleb was just someone she THOUGHT she needed, when the person who cared for her all along was right under her nose. 😉
Sebie and Callie had a new baby! His name fits with his brothers. Felix the cat and Tiger. ❤ Lush.