Authors note: This chapter is a tad long. Enjoy it anyways!
Makenzie’s Point of View
Can you say perfect? Because that’s what my life became ever since Jed stepped into it. No matter what emotional roller coasters I was riding, he was always there to make sure I got off safely. Yea, I can make up mushy metaphors. It’s allowed when your hopelessly in love with someone. It’s just like, Jed and me connect in a way I never thought I could to any other person. Being around him makes my heart smile. Alright… now I’m getting too gooey.
Looping my hand into his I smiled, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
He gave me that grin I adore so much, and added “But not as beautiful as you.” Awwww!
I let go of his hand, then turned to face him. He just always knew the right things to say!
“You really think so?” I gushed, grinning ear to ear.
He nodded, “I know so.”
You see. The thing with our relationship, is that we’re taking it one day at a time. We see no need to rush anything. I like it this way. It leaves a smaller chance of me being hurt. Not that Jed would ever do that to me. He loves me, and I’m sure of it this time. Caleb was someone I tried to latch onto for the wrong reasons, I’ll admit I felt horrible for the way he shut me down… but I just tried to let go. With lots of support from Jed that is.
“Jed, your so sweet to me. How is it that I over looked you so many times? You were always there for me, yet I never even noticed.” I sighed, adverting my eyes downward. Sometimes I just felt as if he was too good for me. What did I do to deserve him anyways?
He gently brushed the side of my face, “Mick, don’t talk that way. We’re together now, and that’s all that matters. You were always worth waiting for anyways.”
Was I? I never felt that way before. I wanted to be worth waiting for, but people in my life shut me down or ruined things. Sometimes I thought being with Jed was a dream. It felt so unreal to finally have someone to care for.
I smiled, placing his head between my hands, “What did I do to even deserve you?”
He chuckled, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question, miss?”
Nope that honor sure enough went to me. I knew that for a fact. I mean, in the midst of my pain, I caused him pain. He could of left me for good, never looking back. But he didn’t. He fought for me, and that makes me love him all the more.
“No. It should definitely go to me.”
He pulled me in towards him “What if I have something to say about that?”
I could only giggle. What can I say? He makes happy. “Fine, what do you have to say?”
“This.” Pulling me even closer, and placing his lips to mine. I just melted. Completely melted. Sure he’d kiss me on the cheek here or there, or pecked my lips. This is the first time he’d ever went all in. I guess this just means, we’ve reached a new level in our relationship. About TIME! It’s been 4 months! A girl can only wait so long for a kiss.
After a few moments I breathed “Finally….” He just stifled a laugh, and kissed me again. Sweet bliss.
Life was good. Did that just really come out of my mouth? Wow. But it was so true. Life was good. I had Jed, we had our solid relationship and for once in my entire life I could honestly say I was happy. I would hum sweet melodies as I wrote my stories, make lunch for my parents with ease, and do simple chores without even a grunt.
“Sandwiches almost done sweetie?” Pa pa asked, setting himself down at the table.
I looked over my shoulder “Just about. Give me another minute.”
I placed a sandwich in front of my Pa pa and one in front of myself. Before I started chowing down, I turned to him and asked “Soooo… how was your day?” Weird right? I never cared about peoples days. Jed’s getting to me.
He swallowed then replied “Oh. The norm. Just getting used to being retired. It’s not easy. I’m a working man, I need to move. Your dad though? Forget it. He’s like Martha Stewart since he learned he liked to bake… cause that’s real manly.”
I laughed nearly choking on my sandwich! My poor dad.
He laughed with me, shaking his head. “So what about you, my dear? How is your relationship with Jed going? You two taking it slow? Using precautions?”
Did… did my dad just ask me what I think he asked me?! “Uh, um, Pa pa? Did you just ask me if I was practicing safe sex?”
Cough! Choke! “WHAT?! NO! I was just asking- Oh dear lord….”
Oh. Uh. My bad. “Sorry, Pa pa…”
“You know what? This right here? …. Never happened.” he sighed, chugging down his drink. I think I nearly killed my father. That’s terrible.
I shook my head rapidly. Watching as the color slowly fell from my fathers cheeks. This was really... awkward.
To make matters worse, my dad rushed in to see what was going on. Just great, make the moment even stranger why don’t you.
“Everything alright in here?”
Pa pa and I exchanged glances, and sputtered out “Everything’s fine!”
My dad looked at us for a second then said “Yea, well… it better be. No one better be sleeping with anyone. You tell Jed he better watch it.”
I looked at my dad and giggled “What ever you say Martha.” Pa pa and I roared with laughter and my dad stomped out. What? It was funny! Come on…
Besides everything going along swimmingly, there was still that problem that involved Shadow. Anytime I came near her she would cower, and tilt her head away from me. It’s like she was afraid to hurt me. I knew what she did was an accident. I honestly never knew horses could feel like this. Maybe she sensed the pain I was in when it happened.
I tried reaching out and petting her, but she just backed away. I felt so bad for her. I didn’t want her to think that she was going to hurt me just by touch. She was still just a baby. Sure she grew, but she’s still learning. Just like me.
I petted her and fed her some oats “Hey sweetie. It’s okay. You didn’t mean to hurt me. I forgive you Shadow. Shhhhh…”
It took a few tries but she soon accepted the offer. FINALLY! I was so tired of my baby being afraid of me. That’s right… my baby. She may be a pain in the butt but I love her to bits!
It was about 2 months later, Jed and me where on the sofa watching some random romance movie. Pa pa and dad were over visiting Lia because she and her boyfriend are going to have a baby. A little girl. That’s great for Lia. Let her have a baby. Just as long as it’s someone else. If there’s anything in this world I don’t want is a child. There’s no way I could give a baby everything it needs. It would hate my guts if I raised any kid.
“Aw Jed, see? That’s true love.”
He tilted his head and sighed “How is that love? He left the first girl for the second one. If it were me I’d stay with the one I loved all along. These movies are such audience pleasers.”
I scoffed “Well maybe the first girl wasn’t good enough for him! Ever think about that? Huh?”
He laughed “The first girl was better. She had nicer hair.”
Oh is that how he’s going to do this?! “Nice hair. Seriously? So is that what you did with me? ‘Gee, she has nice hair. I think I’ll date her.”
He laughed louder “No Mick. This is just some fake romance-y movie. Your my girlfriend. My real girlfriend. I love you for you, babe.”
Yea, nice cover up…
“You want me to show you love? Here…” he sighed wrapping his arm around me “This is real love. Snuggling with the most beautiful girl in the world, while relaxing in a cozy living room.”
I couldn’t help but just smile up at him. No matter what mood I was in, or how negative I turned things into… he always had a way of making them brighter.
“You know when I told you I loved you? I really meant it… I wasn’t caught up in the moment or anything.”I smiled.
He chuckled “I know Mick. I’ve been around you long enough to know when your being truthful or not.”
“Kiss me.” I breathed, tightening my grip on his hand. He stared at me puzzled for a second. What was so confusing about this? “Please. Like you did on our date to the waterfall.”
He leaned in closer to me, inches from my face “Are you sure?” I nodded my head at him, and he pressed his lips against mine. It was so powerful, but still so gentle.
That gentle kiss turned hungry in a matter of minutes. Breaths became shorter, and
“parts” became alert. I tried so hard to fight it. Every time it became too much I would push him back. But let’s just face it, I think I wanted this more than he did. I’ve been ready for this months ago! If I don’t have him now, I’m going to BURST! I mean, almost a year is long enough!
“Follow… Me…” I sputtered out in between kisses. He only nodded his head quickly as a reply.
Our clothes were off quicker than I could blink. One moment we’re ripping them off each other, the next he’s on top of me kissing me repeatedly. It was getting very hot, very quickly in my room. My heart was beating 100 mph, I thought that it would pop out of my chest! I was anxious and excited, yet at the same time nervous and afraid. The last time I did this it was for the wrong reasons. With someone I didn’t even love, and I know for certain didn’t love me like he claimed. Being with Jed was different though. He loved me, and I loved him.
He broke off the kisses for a moment, and just stared at me “Your so beautiful.”
Wrapping my arms around his strong neck I replied “And your amazing. I love you Jed.”
He kissed my neck, saying “We don’t have to do this if your not ready. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”
I shook my head no, “I’m ready. I’m positive.”
With that the rest of our clothes came off, and we went at it. With Jeremy it was anger and pain. It’s like he just wanted to use me then throw me away. I felt no love, no compassion. I don’t even know how I could of been so stupid to even have considered him. With Jed he was so gentle with me. He took care of me and constantly asked me if I was alright. Well let’s just say… I was ALRIGHT! Whew! What a good time! Felt so good too…
“How do you feel?”
I yawned, squinting through tired eyes “I feel wonderful. Thank you Jed.”
He chuckled “Anytime…. and I do mean that literally.” Men… pffftttt
Jed’s Point of View
Whew! What a night! I only anticipated coming over and watching a chick flick, I never knew Mick and I would … erm, take our relationship to another “level”. Everything kind of just happened so fast. It was over before it began. She was so worth that wait though. The whole experience… just mind blowing. To think, Mick’s parents were suppose to just be visiting their daughter. Who would have guessed they stayed the night? I guess I just got really lucky! Made me a happy, happy man.
Now… to just figure out what I did to make this coffee machine stop working.
“Jed…” Mick sighed from the dining room “That’s like your 4th cup! If it stopped working, it’s probably for a reason.”
“Au contraire! It’s just testing me to see if I will give up on it- which I won’t! There’s no such thing as too much coffee!”
She rolled her eyes “Yea there is… and if you ever try to stop drinking it now, you’ll get migraines.” Baaaahhhh, what does she know?
Mmmmmmm, lots of cream and sugar just the way I like-
“JED! We need to get this house straightened up before my parents come home. I was suppose to do it yesterday, but… well you know.”
Arg…. “Finnnne. Just after this cup.”
She charged in from the dining room, and snatched the cup out of my hands. Hey! I wasn’t done with that…
She groaned, “We don’t have time for that! I need to clean these dishes – and the ones you keep dirtying – before my parents get back. Also, get some clothes on. I don’t want them walking in with you half nude. Dad will have a cow…”
I just laughed walking out of there. It’s funny how nervous she’s acting over this. They’re going to find out soon enough. She’s not a kid anymore… she’s 22!
I chuckled “I’m all for sneaking around, trying not to get caught… but we don’t really have to. They’re going to know sooner or later.”
She cast me a glare from where she was standing and I laughed harder. “Clothes. Right. Gotcha'”
Mankenzie’s Point of View
It’s been weeks since Jed and I had the chance to sleep together. After that we were both just so busy or never found that private moment to be alone. It’s not easy when he works a full time job, and I write my books. Speaking of my books I sent my best one into a publisher. You never know what could happen. Besides that, I’ve had this really strange craving for steak and chocolate. Come to think of it… I’ve been craving a lot of weird foods lately.
“Ohhhhhh…. you look tasty.”
I’m guessing that my exotic combinations don’t want to agree with me though. Anytime I find myself eating out of the norm my body just spits it back up. Leaving me with an empty stomach and harsh taste in my mouth. I know for a fact that this isn’t the flu. That would just be dumb to think that. So the only possible explanation I had was from my eating habits these past several weeks. What else could it be? I’m not pregnant. We used protection… breaking did occur though… Nahhh I’m fine.
Even if I tried to ignore it, the sickness just never went away. I even cut back on the stupid foods, and fought my urge to eat everything. I still found myself at 6 am throwing up into the toilet. It took it’s toll so badly on my body. I would just call Jed over and have him cradle me on the sofa. I just wanted someone to snuggle with since I felt so terrible. He always agreed to it and rushed right over to be by my side. He’s very devoted to me. I love my Jed.
“Sweetie. Have you seen a doctor?”
I just groaned. I didn’t feel like answering.
“You need to see one if you ever expect to get better.” he sighed, rubbing my back.
I don’t want to see no stupid doctor! I’m fine!
Okay. Okay. Okay…. not good. So I got worried about the whole pregnancy thing. Sure we covered up, but breaking never can equal anything good. I knew it, deep down that I was pregnant. Taking that test, and it reading positive. My natural reaction was to throw it across the room, and then cry. I sat there on the cold tile for which felt like forever. ME!? PREGNANT? How am I suppose to take care of a baby?! I can barely take care of myself. This kid is going to depend on me, and want things that I don’t know that I can provide. Great. First Lia is pregnant, now me. This is just going to give my dad a heart attack. I swear it.
After awhile, I stood to my feet and went to go stare at myself in the mirror. I wiped the tears away on my sleeve, but looking at myself, then at my stomach… I just cried more. Tears slipped down my cheek every chance they could. Being sensitive and hormonal did me no justice. Just thinking about the word “baby” brought sadness. I never wanted a child! How could I ever raise him or her? What if they hated me? What if… what if It died. I don’t know two things about babies!
I fixed up my face a little, yet again wiping away more tears. I placed my hand onto my stomach and just sighed. I can’t do this!
I ran the sink, cupping water into my hands. I needed to clean myself up. I couldn’t let my parents or… Jed see me like this. Oh gosh. Jed. How do I even go about telling him something like this? Not once has either of us mentioned having a baby. That’s a sign that both parents don’t really want that kid. I sound horrible, but it’s not that I wouldn’t love my child, it’s just… I couldn’t give it everything it deserved. I know me better than anyone, no doubt. I can not raise a baby. I’m too emotionally unstable, if you will.
“Sweetie. You’ve been up there for awhile, are you alright? Do you need me to take you somewhere? Doctor perhaps?” he nudged once more. DOCTOR? I don’t want to go to no doctor! And you know what else? I don’t want to even be around Jed right now. I can’t let him. He doesn’t need to see me like this. A total freak again. Just after everything was going so great, ol’ Micki comes out for a peek.
“I don’t WANT a doctor. Just. Go home Jed.” I growled, his face in bewilderment.
“Wha? Why? Is something wrong?” he frowned, trying to comfort me with a hug.
“I just don’t need you around me right now. There’s stuff going on. JUST GO!” I demanded, trying hard to not let a tear escape.
“NO! I don’t want to hear it. Please!”
He nodded his head with total sadness. Agreeing to my wishes. I felt bad for being so cruel, but… I just couldn’t risk him seeing me break down. It’s better off he’d just go. Maybe even better off he never come around again. This baby is only going to make that more of a reality anyways. He doesn’t want it, I can’t take care of it. I just need enough time to let it grow, so I can give it up for adoption. That way we can be happy again.
It was so hard without him around. He’d constantly call me, and begged for an understanding. I just couldn’t tell him. If I did, I’d lose him for good. No way a baby can do anything but damper a relationship. Let me rephrase that… when the mother is Makenzie Terrey, it will only make our relationship worse. When your perfect Lia, or Kaylee… everything is magic and sparkles. Perfect lives. Perfect kids. Perfect Jobs. Why am I the freak of nature?
Bzzzz! Another text…
“Makenzie please! I’m so sorry if I did anything to hurt you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. Just tell me what’s bothering you. We’ll get through it, I swear.”
If it was only that simple.
I have to say. Telling my parents was the worse part. They kept telling me I had to tell Jed, and to stop shutting him out. That it was his baby too and that he had every much of rights to it as I did. That’s where they don’t understand!! No one will ever understand, because their not me. Besides, I’m carrying the baby. I should have the first say.
The only thing that kept me sane was writing out my feelings. I was so depressed, and lonely. The baby would hurt so much as it kicked and moved. Always laying on my bladder. I couldn’t take it anymore! I wanted it out!! But I could never kill an innocent baby. Like I said, I don’t hate the kid, I just know I’m not good enough for it.
“Dashing quickly she ran. Trying to hide her many fears of that one small secret coming to the surface. If they found out about her unborn child, she would be forced to give over her rights to the one man she truly cherished. Jedidiah.”
Everything made me upset. I couldn’t even walk into the kitchen without lowering my head and sighing.
“The sink is dirty… just great.”
My Pa pa was no help what so ever. He pushed me more than Dad did about the whole keeping the baby from Jed situation. I tried to explain to him that if I just had it, then gave it away no one would have to get hurt.
“Mick, someone will get hurt. Jed! And that baby! He has rights to it. You can’t just give it away without his consult! He’s worried sick about you, not knowing what the heck is going on. Can you at least just tell him? Give him that much! For goodness sakes Makenzie! This is his baby!”
“Pa pa stop trying to butt into something that you obviously have no say over! This is my baby, and I’ll do with it as to what I feel is best! If Jed knows, he’ll never want to be around me! He’ll dump me, and leave me by the side of the road.” I raged. I was pissed. Noooo… I was beyond pissed. How dare he think he can tell me what to do with MY kid.
He jumped back a little but kept his tone “Makenzie Destiny… your going about this all wrong! Jed loves you, why wouldn’t he love a baby made by YOU and HIM!? Give the man a chance before you go making all these false accusations!”
He sighed, rubbing his temples “I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Yes your old enough to make choices on your own, but I’m still your father. I have a right to my opinion over you until the day they lower me into the ground.”
I didn’t like Pa pa talking about the day he will die. It always scared me. What scared me more was different thoughts were bouncing around in my head now. I mean, what if he’s right? What if Jed does the total opposite and actually loves this baby? Could I take that chance?
Ding Dong! Wonderful. I’m a complete hormonal wreck, now I have to entertain a guest…. “I’ll get it…”
Oh dear god. WHY!?
Of all the times for him to show up. Why now? “Je-Jed. I didn’t know you were… coming over.”
He sighed “Micki. We really need to talk. I mean RIGHT now. I can’t take this anymore! It’s been well over 2 months and you won’t answer my phone calls, texts, e-mails! Nothing! I even tried writing a letter. Why won’t you talk to me? What did I do to you, sweetheart? Please. I’m dying over here trying to figure out how I hurt you so much!”
My eyes welled up with tears, and a frown spread across his face. “What ever it is. I’ll fix it. I promise! I can’t take living another day without you by my side.”
I had no choice but to tell him. This baby was here, and if he loved it or not… I just had to accept reality. “Jed there is something I need to tell you. Something important.”
He perked up, “I’m listening.”
How do I do this? “Jed… I’m- I’m pregnant.”
His face spoke 1000 words. I knew it! I KNEW IT! This is why I didn’t want to tell him the truth. Just look at his face. He doesn’t want this baby. He hates it already… This was a stupid idea!
“Mick. I- I had no idea.”
“I’m sorry okay! I had no idea I’d get pregnant from the one time we were together. Please don’t leave me Jed. I can’t go on without you! I just thought that if I hid this long enough, I’d have the baby then-then-then… just give it away!” I cried, and he hung his head.
“Makenzie, how could you ever think I would leave you? Especially since your caring my baby? I love you more than air itself, of course I’m going to love this child too. We made it together. It’s a perfect example of how much we love each other. Sure it’s pretty early on, but we’ll get the hang of it. No parents know exactly what they’re doing when they start out. It might be scary, but we’ll raise him or her together. Me and you side by side. We’re a team, Mick.”
I couldn’t even believe it. He actually wanted this baby? He didn’t mind changing diapers and dealing with my mental breaks… if they occur that is? I thought…. I thought…. You know what? I need to stop thinking!!
He knelt down closer to my stomach and placed his hand gently onto it. It felt nice to feel his touch again. Even if it was only on my tummy.
“Wow. Sure moves a lot.” he smiled up at me. I just rolled my eyes and groaned. This kid never lets me sleep!
“But Jed… how is this going to work out if your living 20 minutes away? You can’t just drop everything and move here…”
He took his hand off my stomach, and smiled “Why not? I wouldn’t let you do that! No way, missy. You need to stay and rest. Be with your parents. I’ll move in here! We can raise our baby together.”
I looked at him unsure, but agreed. What did I have to lose?
Months flew by, but not as fast as I had hoped. My stomach only grew larger and pain followed suit. I couldn’t take it anymore. This baby moved and kicked and punched! I wanted to die with certain jolts it gave me! It wasn’t until about 2 days off my due date where I started getting this strange feeling in my stomach. It was like weird jolts that weren’t caused by our little athlete. Of course I just ignored them. I didn’t feel like I was in labor, so why go crazy?
“Oh gosh… please stop moving. Your killing me. There is NO more room! Stay still!”
I walked past Jed in the kitchen. He had already moved in about 2 months back. So living was heavenly with him around. He’d massage my back and bring me food. He’d make sure I was always comfortable and he did all the nursery shopping. Well, as much as he could. We never found out the gender of the baby because we wanted to be surprised. There is no surprise here. I know for a fact that this baby is a-
“Good morning sweet cheeks!” he teased “Breakfast?”
I sat across from him, and sighed “Sure, why not?”
He took a sip of his coffee then sighed “What’s wrong, Mick?”
I looked at him then asked “What do you think it means when I get these weird feelings in my back? I never really felt anything like it before. I was just thinking that it was the baby.”
He quickly placed his cup down and just stared at me nervously. What the heck is his problem?
“Y-you don’t think your in labor, do you?” he gulped, his expression unchanged.
I strugged my shoulders “I don’t think so. I mean, I feel alright besides those pains.”
He let out a sigh of relief then continued on with his food. At least… I don’t think it’s labor?
Okay! DEFINITELY LABOR! It didn’t happen for another several hours but it’s time. This kid wants out, and it wants out NOW! The pain was striking through my body and my sides were doubling over in pain. I jumped out of bed and screamed. Clenching my stomach. I didn’t know what else to do! The pain was alarming and very sudden!
“JEDIDIAH!!!” I screamed, causing him to fall out of bed “The ba-baby! It’s … the-the… BABY!”
He held his hands to his head and shouted “What do I do?! Uhhh… uhhh… put your head between your knees and cough!!”
Oh dear god, I’m going to SMACK him!! “Get me to a hospital!!!”
“Right! RIGHT! HOSPITAL! I know how to do that!” I sure hope so! “Just- uhhh… get car, come… follow me! Ack!”
He ran out the door so fast! He had no shirt or shoes on and it was below 30 degrees outside. Way to go genius! You’d think he was the one about to push out this watermelon!
Labor lasted for over 10 hours, but after all that hard work… and Jed passing out… I was able to bring my son into the world. We called him Noah. Well, Noah… here’s hoping you can make it with a mommy like me. I’ll try my best. I can promise you that much.
Sebie’s 2nd born, Felix. Looks just like his dad.
Congrats Wolf! Your simself is going to have a baby!
Thanks for reading everyone!! I hope this chapter made sense. Micki was just really scared about everything. You know how she is to begin with, mixed with the fear of having a child. It made her think untrue thoughts. Jed put a stop to it though. He was going to make sure he never lost Micki! 🙂
@ Jed: Hehehehehe 😛 You catch everything I threw? 😉