Chapter 6.6 – Forgive and Forget

Authors note: WARNING –Sexual Content! If you’re offended by that, please skip over it!! I go into detail because this chapter needs to be intimate.

Oh and if this post looks different it’s because I decided to start using Windows Live Writer. It was on my computer all along… who would of thunk it?“

Noah’s Point of View

Ever since that one night with Riley it’s been even more awkward between the two of us. At least before she’d talk to me, now she won’t even make eye contact, but all of that is beside the point now. Ever since I found out why that man in that case file was familiar to me, I’ve been having such a hard time sleeping at night. That man was the SAME man who shot me 5 years ago and now he’s in Bridgeport killing and kidnapping women. What if he finds out that I didn’t die that night? What if I’m his next target?! It’s just too much for me to bare. I literally sleep with one eye open – which isn’t sleep at all – just waiting for him to come knocking at my door. Oh god, then when I think about him coming in my house… I think about him hurting Riley!! I promised her I’d never let anything bad happen to her ever again. If that man finds me, she’s going to be in danger!

I sat up and turned on the bedside light. What was the point in trying to sleep when I know for a fact that I can’t? It’s been 3 freaking weeks and I still can’t get that thought out of my head. How do I even go about bringing it up? Should I even bring it up? I’m so confused it’s driving me crazy! I mean, it would be the right thing to tell someone about it, but what good will come out of that? Even if I told someone it doesn’t mean that they are going to catch that man any sooner. Sigh.

So I did what I’ve been doing for the past few nights; going out into the living room and just waiting out the night. It sucks how afraid I am! Getting shot never really fazed me all that much as a punk kid. I thought I was invincible and that as long as mommy and daddy were around I could do whatever the heck I wanted and I’d be protected. Now that I’m 8 hours away in a dark city; I’ll admit I’m scared haft to death. Even if that therapist was a creep, maybe I should have just talked it out with him. I just had to be so darn thick-headed! Now I jump at my own shadow…

It just had to be then and there that Snoopy ran by and I almost wet myself!

“YOU STUPID CAT!” I screamed, clenching onto the sofa. Oh god… I hope I didn’t wake up-

“Noah, what’s going on?” she asked groggily.

-Riley. Aw, crap. How am I going to explain this to her without sounding like a total psycho? She already is scared of me, why not throw lunatic into the mix.

At first I didn’t even turn around. I just sat there in silence trying quickly to think of something to say. Crap! I don’t have any fake excuses! Uh, maybe if I just sit here and not say anything she’ll go back to her room…

After a second the lights flicked on, “Noah, are you okay?”

Yeah I knew it was a long shot. Now she’s even more concerned. Wait a minute, she’s concerned? Since when was she even talking to me?

I stood up, “Well you see-“ I had to stop when I saw her though. Uhm, err… she’s not wearing any pants.

I couldn’t even gather my words together properly. I kept stuttering and trying to avert my eyes away from her… well you know. Those underwear were so small, it didn’t leave much to the imagination.

She glared at me, “What the heck is the matter with you?!”

After that outburst I just stared at her uncomfortably and my cheeks flushed red; I could feel them burning! I could also feel my blood being forced into a different part of my body.

I quickly sat down to avoid embarrassment, “Uh, it’s nothing, never mind. Just go back to bed. I’ll be okay.” I blurted out.

 Please go to bed. Please go to bed…

“Noah, mind if I join you?” she asked softly.

Crap! “N-no go right ahead.”

If I keep my eyes off of her, maybe it will help…

She sat down next to me and I just squeezed my legs together. I don’t think she’s walking around like this on purpose, but it is literally killing me to be this close to her. I told her I loved her, what does she think will happen if she starts walking around half nude?? That I’ll be all cool and not get all… ugh.

“Noah, I’ve been around you long enough to know when something is seriously bothering you. I know you’re lying about being okay. Why did I hear you scream not only tonight, but on other nights as well?”

Yeah she’s been around long enough to know something’s wrong, yet I’m suffering at this very moment and she couldn’t be more clueless.

I shook my head, “Honestly, I’m fine.”

She turned her head from me and scoffed, “Look.” she started, “I don’t know how you expect me to help you if you keep telling me lies! I know there is something wrong, you know there is something wrong… stop beating around the bush!”

My mouth hung open. Oh my god… now there’s the Riley I know!!

I shook my head laughing, “Fine, you really wanna know? Remember that time I was in the hospital?”

She rolled her eyes, “Do I ever…”

I sighed, but continued, “Well I was in the hospital because I was shot by this man. At the time I didn’t think much of it, but… he’s in Bridgeport and he’s killing again. I’m-I’m scared that he’s going to come after me. There I said it, are you happy now?”

“Okay tell me why that would make me happy?” she growled, “If there is someone after you that means I’m in danger too idiot.”

I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t! She was just too funny the way she got mad so easily!!

I put my hand over my heart, “Oh Riley… I’m so touched how much you care for my safety.” 

I turned to her, laughing, “You know you suck badly at comforting someone? I hate to see what would have been said if god forbid my mother died or something!”

She punched my arm – hard! – and gave me her signature dirty look. Heh heh… I like teasing her.

After I laughed at her some more she scooted closer to me and wrapped her arm around me awkwardly. What in god’s name is this chick doing??

I burst out laughing, “What the heck are you trying to do, Snoot??”

She dug her nails into my back, “I’m TRYING to comfort you! You said I suck at it, but I’m trying to show you I can be caring. This is what people do when they care, right?”

I shook my head, “Maybe in Riley’s world. On planet earth we don’t awkwardly hug people and hurt them!”

She dug them deeper- OW OW OW! Okay I think I said enough! Jeez!

She pulled her arm from around me and just sighed to herself. I don’t know how it happened, but the next thing I knew, I stood up, leaned over… and kissed her. Her body jolted from shock and she held her arms out awkwardly as if she didn’t know to wrap them around me or to push me back. It wasn’t a long kiss, maybe 4 or 5 seconds… but I couldn’t believe I did it at all!

 I jumped back and we just stared at each other in silence. I didn’t even know what to say for myself. I really wasn’t thinking at all! I guess I got so caught up in the moment I acted on some impulse that was just waiting to burst out of me. I’m not complaining about that kiss though; I’ve waited many moons to do that! I guess my bold side finally got the best of me.

I decided to break the silence, “Oh my god, Riley. I’m SO sorry! I just- I don’t- … I’m sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“You have to believe me, I never meant for that to happen on purpose! I don’t want to freak you out or anything… I know you’ve been through hell and back the past couple of years. Can we just forget that happened and move past it? I’m really sorry.”

God I felt so bad! Look at her face; she’s terrified!

She spoke softly; so softy I could barely hear her, “Why did you stop?”

Wait, what did she say?!

“I’m sorry can you repeat that?”

She stood up abruptly and wrapped her arms around me. She forced her lips against mine and didn’t let up. Her kisses were so hungry; so full of passion. I pulled back from her kissing to catch my breath and to just stare at her! Was she serious? She really wanted this?

“Riley…” I breathed, “You don’t have to do this if-“

She placed her lips against mine again to shut me up; a tear sliding down her cheek. Aw man, why was she crying??

I tried to get another word in edge wise but she just wouldn’t quit! She kept kissing me all over and grabbing at my body. A tiny voice in the back of my head told me this wasn’t a good idea, that she’s probably doing this for some inner motive. Although like I said, it was a tiny voice. When I have I ever listened to those?

She pulled me against the shelf and kept placing kisses along my neck. I just stood there with my body pressed against hers taking in every second of the moment. My other brain was screaming at me from all this physical touch; I’ve never been more turned on in my entire life!

She was inches from my face, “I want you.” she whispered.

Oh god, I take that back. It just became even worse. As things started to heat up even more, that stupid voice kept growing louder, telling me no over and over again. A small part of me wanted to push Riley away, because it didn’t seem right. Then at the same time a HUGE part of me wanted to take her right then and there- I have no pun intended with that.

“Riley… we can’t.”

God it was like bile coming out of my mouth. I wanted her SO bad but… I had to do this the right way. I had to make sure she was doing this for the same reason I wanted to do it- because I love her.

 “Yes we can.” she smirked, shoving me onto the ground, “I’ll take you here and now.”

Whoa.

“Riley but I just haft to understand something-“ she placed her lips against mine again. I wish she would stop doing that! I mean… no wait; I don’t want her to stop. What am I saying? This is so confusing.

“Just stop thinking, and focus on me.”

She started taking off her top and I grabbed her hand.

“Not on the floor. If you really want this, I want to do it the right way.”

She climbed off of me and darted for my bedroom. Am I really doing this? Please tell me I am. I mean, I know it’s not right… it doesn’t feel right. Oh my god, SCREW IT! I’ve waited forever for this moment to happen! I’m NOT ruining it!

I picked myself up off the floor and made my way to the bedroom. I walked slow and tried to remember to breathe. Yes I know I’ve slept with a lot of girls in my time, but none of them were Riley. Just thinking about being with her gave me Goosebumps. I love her with all my heart and to finally be with her is something I never even dreamed possible.

When I finally got into the room Riley was only in her bra and underwear. She sat there staring at me with her gorgeous yellow eyes and breath taking smile. Looking at her like that made me waste no time in stripping down to almost nothing. I climbed onto the bed and she wrapped her slender arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss.

I pulled back, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

She nodded her head and then pulled me into another kiss.

The rest of our clothes dropped to the floor moments later and then we went at it. Riley grabbed my hips as I thrust into her. I let out cries of joy with each and every movement. I heard her small moans and could feel the grasp she had on me grown tighter. I tried to stay at a slow pace but she kept telling me to go faster and faster until- Ohhhhh…

After the most amazing experience I’ve ever endured, Riley laid in my arms completely out of breath. I just stared at the back of her head in bewilderment. Had I just done this?! Did I really just sleep with Riley? I feel like any second now I’m going to wake up from this dream.

“I love you.” I smiled, kissing the back of her head. She didn’t reply though because by the time her head rested against my chest she was already out of it. She knows I love her right? Does she even love me? Please tell me this was the right decision to make.

***

The next morning I awoke to an empty bed but I could hear Riley out in the kitchen moving around pots and the sink go on and off a few times. I’ll admit when I woke up to emptiness I got a little nervous, but… I know that I don’t need to over work myself anymore. I know that Riley is never going to leave again; she proved that to me last night! All those stupid thoughts I had were just me being paranoid.

I drug myself out of bed and headed for the bathroom. When I got in there, I took one look at myself in the mirror and grinned.

“You’re so awesome. Riley is going to be talking about last night until she DIES!”

What? I’m good and I know it! Heh heh.

I walked out into the Kitchen and stopped when I saw Riley. Jeez she was making such a mess! I’ll let it slide though, because there is nothing that could make my mood sour today.

“What’s cha cooking, good looking?” I chuckled.

I know it’s cheesy, but I’m too elated right now to even care. I just feel SO good!

She dropped what she was doing and spun to face me. She had such a nasty scowl on her face; I didn’t know what to think!

She pointed at me, “Don’t even try any of that with me!” she boomed, “This is all YOUR fault!”

OKAY, what the HECK?!

I threw my hands up, “What in god’s name are you talking about?! What did I do wrong?!”

She started crying, “I DON’T KNOW! I’m just confused. I don’t know why I did what I did; I’m just trying to make myself feel better.”

I looked at her crazily, “By… screaming at me??”

“Whatever works.” she sniffled, “Just go put a shirt on or something and let’s forget that ever happened. It was a mistake.”

WHAT!? Forget it happened?! GOD I knew it! I KNEW I should have listened to my gut feeling! I’m such an idiot…

“Riley I don’t understand. I thought that’s what you wanted. I asked you a couple of times! Why did you say you wanted to have sex, when you really didn’t? If anyone should be confused it should be me.” I sighed, trying to make sense out of the situation.

It’s not like I don’t already know, I just want to hear it from her.

“I just wasn’t thinking, okay?!” she growled, “Now leave me alone and dang it put something on!”

I scoffed, “You know what? Fine, just fine.”

I don’t care; I’m allowed to be upset!

I got dressed like I was told by boss lady and just threw myself onto the couch and watched TV. What a great way to spend my day off. I finally got to sleep with Riley and we’re both pissed off at each other. I know why she’s upset. It’s because she’s SO freaking afraid to get close to me! She freaking forced herself to do that last night to see if it would make a difference, but it didn’t and now she’s mad at ME for it. She’s so conflicted! She wants to be with me, but at the same time she’s scared of the thought of ever getting too close! DARN IT why does this haft to be so hard?! I thought we were finally getting somewhere.

Breathe Noah, just… Breathe. Give her time.

I sighed loudly, “So what are you making anyways?”

She just mumbled under her breath and continued stirring the crap out of the mix. Fine, don’t answer me then. Just keep being angry at me for something we BOTH decided on!

A few minutes later I heard a loud crash and then a groan from Riley. I turned around on the couch to see what had happened. Apparently she dropped the bowl because her stomach started hurting. Oh look, she made an even bigger mess too!

I chuckled, “Way to go Ms. Clumsy.”

She cast me a glare then reached down to pick up the bowl. She got about half way before she shot back up and groaned louder. Okay, now that got me a little worried.

I stood up from the couch and started walking towards her slowly.

“Riley are you okay??” I questioned, nervousness filled my voice.

She held onto her stomach tighter, “I-I don’t know. It-It hurts so badly!!”

Okay if someone says they don’t know if they are alright, then that defiantly means there is something wrong!

“Do you want me to take you to the hospital!?” I sputtered out.

I was seriously on the verge of freaking out.

She let out a loud cry before she fell onto the kitchen floor!!

I gasped, before shouting, “RILEY?!”

Before I even got the chance to even run towards her, her eyes closed and her head fell sideways.

“RILEY!!” I shouted again.

I ran towards her in a panic state, tripping over myself and onto the kitchen floor. I crawled around to her, my vision becoming blurry from the tears that started to well up.

“R-riley?” I shook her arm, “Please Riley, wake up.”

I picked her up and into my arms. I held onto to her and just begged her to open her eyes. My heart was beating faster and my hands were shaking. I was so afraid for her! I just don’t understand! One minute she was cooking and being angry at me and the next she’s unconscious and not breathing- Wait, she’s not breathing?!

“Riley wake up!!!” I shouted, tears pouring harder, “Please!”

Within seconds her skin turned pale and her lips blue. My eyes were red and my cheeks stained with tears. This all happened so fast I didn’t even know what to do! I was in a state of terror and shock. I never expected something like this to happen!!

“Riley don’t you DARE die on me!” I screamed lifting her over my shoulder, “I won’t lose you! I love you.”

***

Thanks for reading! So to make things clear Riley only slept with Noah because in a way it was her trying to force herself to move on. She thought that maybe if she slept with him it would heal all that pain she’s been through and everything would be okay. Noah knew something didn’t feel right… but he was thinking with the smaller of his two brains. Now Riley is even more confused about everything and she is still deathly afraid to get close to Noah. Sleeping with him didn’t help, it only made it worse on her emotionally. Alas though, what is wrong with Riley?! Why isn’t she breathing??!