Chapter 7.5 – Insecurities

Author’s note: Disturbing scenes and language; you’ve been warned.


Adam’s Point of View

Where do I begin with this story? How do I tell someone something who has turned into such a monster? Maybe the real reason isn’t that I want to tell him per se… but that I’m tired of holding it in so long. All the pressure of keeping it down all these years has been literally driving me insane. In another sense though, I do want to share this with Ryder. I want him to understand where I came from and what James put me through. If he can just understand I’m not just some punk kid from off the streets that wound up here because he was ‘bad’, then maybe he’ll get it through his head that he needs to stop the way he’s acting before he loses it completely. James will stop at nothing to make sure that happens; he has motives for every single person he brings into his mansion – It’s like a death wish.

“Alright Ryder… I’ll just start from the beginning; my life was as simple as they get. I had a mom and a dad just like any other kid. My parents loved me unconditionally. They provided me with anything and everything a 5-year-old boy would ever need. My mother – Layla – was such a beautiful and caring woman. I remember every night she would tuck me into bed and then read me any story I wanted. My favorite was Goodnight Moon. I loved how my mom could just bring any story to life; she had a real knack for that.”

There were three little bears sitting on chairs and two little kittens and a pair of mittens…


“I remember that no matter how hard I tried, I could never stay awake for the entire story. My mom’s voice was so soothing and when she got closer to the middle she would start to whisper; it knocked me right out.”

Goodnight stars, goodnight air… goodnight noises everywhere. And goodnight to my precious little boy; I love you Adam.


“While my mother was tucking me in with a goodnight kiss, my father – Greg – could be found at the local junkyard. He worked there as a person who hauled useless crap to their yard. Anything that could be broken down into something else, he brought to them. I remember they worked my father pretty hard because he wasn’t home a lot. Well, during the week anyways… he made sure that he had the weekend to spend with us.”


“Since I hadn’t started school yet, I was still under my mother’s care during the day. She would take me outside and watch me play on the swing set for hours on end. I loved that thing. I remember the first day they got it for me my dad literally had to come outside and drag me into the house when it was time for dinner. My life was pretty much a walking fantasy for any little kid. It was for a while though… until the unimaginable happened. Well, unimaginable for a kid that is.”


“I remember the day like it was yesterday… my parents brought me out into the living room and told me I was going to be a big brother. There was going to be some whiny, drooly little baby to take all my attention away. It was safe to say I was not a happy camper. I hated the fact that I wasn’t going to be the only one anymore; I didn’t want some kid taking my spot. I remember the baby wasn’t even there yet and my parents were already ignoring me. Well, I felt like they were anyways. I’m sure that it just seemed that way to me because I was five.”


“My parents were so happy though. Every single day they carried these giant grins on their faces. My dad seemed like he was more excited about it then my mom was! I guess that was just because he found out that he was going to have a little princess. You know how it goes with girls and their fathers… I didn’t care though; I only grew angrier when I knew I was going to have some stupid sister.” I sighed, “I wish I knew then what I know now; I would have never thought that way about her.”


“In my little head, nothing was worse than having some brat take your spot. So I guess you can say I sort of lashed out at my parents because of it. I always gave them such a hard time and never listened to what they told me. Every day I wish I could take it all back, I’d give anything to say how sorry I am to them. It hurts so much to think about how cruel I must have seemed. Like some evil little jerk who didn’t care about anyone but himself. Yeah, I know I’m crazy to think this way because I was only a jealous kid… but I can’t help but feel the way I do – Especially if you’ve gone through what I went through.

I remember the last time I saw my parents. My dad had off of work, and it was a beautiful day outside, so he decided to take us all to the park. By this time my mom was as big as a balloon. My sister was due in only a short few weeks and that’s when I was at my worst. Instead of enjoying the time I was spending with them, I threw myself down on the ground and just started ripping up grass. What did I care? They apparently didn’t ‘love’ me if they were trying to ‘replace’ me.”


“In the middle of my little tantrum, I decided that it was high tide my parents started to notice me again. So I jumped up to my feet and demanded that they play hide-and-seek with me. They just turned to face me and both laughed. They were going to play with me but all of a sudden my mother got this terrible pain in her head and back. She almost fell backwards but my dad was there to catch her with his arm. Instead of worrying about how my mother was, I just demanded again that they play with me. I knew that it was probably just the baby and I hated that they were going to pay attention to that thing again! I didn’t realize that my mom was going into labor…”

COME ON! You said you would!

Not now Adam, your mother is hurting. I think it may be your sister.


I remember my father turning to my mother and asking her bunches of questions. Like ‘Are you alright?’ and ‘Is it time?’ My mom tried her best to fix her composure because really she didn’t want to ruin our beautiful outing like this. I didn’t understand any of that though. All I knew is that they weren’t paying attention to me… so I started to scream at them.”


“I realize now that, that probably made my father even more stressed than he already was becoming. He was scared for my mom and at the same time had some little bratty boy screaming in his ear… I don’t blame him for getting mad at me. Even as he screamed at me to be quiet and to stop acting out, my mother was right there telling him not to get angry with me. She was such a humble woman; always thinking of others before herself. She was the one in pain and cared more about how I was feeling.”


“I grew angry with my dad for yelling at me and instead of going to get in the car like I was supposed to; I took off into the woods. I told them I was going to run away if they didn’t want me anymore and were going to replace me anyways. My dad chased after me but he had asthma so he couldn’t run for as long as I could.”


“I ran so far back into the woods I didn’t know where I was. Once I realized I was lost I immediately regretted everything I had done and said. At that point I didn’t care if I was going to get a new sister or if they loved her more than me. All I wanted was my mommy and daddy to come rescue me. I just wanted to hug them and tell them how sorry I was for being mean to them. Hours had passed and there was no sign of my parents anywhere. I cried out their names for which seem liked forever but nobody came; I couldn’t believe I lost them.”


“When I was about to just give up on all hopes of ever seeing anyone again, a man came out of nowhere all dressed in black. He had dark eyes, dark hair and scars on his cheeks. He walked up to me and asked me why I was crying. I didn’t say anything to him at first; I just kind of stared at him and sniffled here and there. After a few seconds of not answering he looked at me puzzled and asked again why I was crying.”


“I remember shaking my head at him and telling him that my parents told me to never talk to strangers -That made him laugh loudly. After he laughed at me he smirked and asked ‘You’re lost, aren’t you?’ I just closed my eyes and stood there in fear. Even at the young age of five I could tell that this man was bad. Just the way he talked and the way he looked at me. It was like he was enjoying the fact that I had nobody around to save me; that I was weak and he was strong.”


“He told me ‘I can take you back to your parents. Why don’t you come with me?’ Of course that sounded like heaven to a five year old; of course I wanted someone to tell me it was going to be okay and that I would see my parents again – Although, I didn’t agree to that. When he told me he would take me back to them I told him ‘No thank you’ and then tried to run away from him. He however just grabbed the back of my jacket and rested his gun on my shoulder. It was then and there that I knew I was never going to see my parents ever again. This man was kidnapping me and I knew if I didn’t listen he was going to kill me. The only thing I could do was just cry and listen to what he told me to do.”


“He drug me out of the woods and then threw me into the back seat of his car. I just sat there with tears pouring down my cheeks and my head pounding from all the constant crying I was doing. It was about an hour into the drive that he pulled over to the side of the road and turned around and screamed at me. He told me that if I didn’t shut up, he was going to make me. So I forced myself to hold back the tears.

Another hour later and we were at some giant house in the middle of nowhere. James threw open the door, pulled me out of the car and then tossed me over his shoulder. I didn’t even make a peep; I just laid there on his broad shoulders hoping and praying he wouldn’t kill me. He didn’t do anything to me though. He just brought me inside the big house and then handed me over to Blue. The words he exchanged to him still run through my head to this day.”

Do what you want with him, just make sure he suffers.


“Blue wasted no time in doing that either. He gripped me up by the back of my collar and forced me up three flights of stairs. When we got to the top floor he pushed me down a long hallway and then into his bedroom. For about a minute or so he just stood there looking down at me and smirking. I really didn’t have the slightest clue as to what he was going to do to me. After he was done eyeing me up like a piece of meat, he demanded for me to take off my clothes. I was such a young kid and a request like that had me so confused. Why would such a scary man ask me to do something like that?”


“Of course being young, I had to question his request of me. My question only made him angry and he slapped me across the face and demanded me to take off my clothes a second time. The slap hit my face so freaking hard, I just couldn’t help but throw my face into my hands and start to bawl my eyes out even more. I pleaded with him to just take me to my parents and asked him not to make me take my clothes off. I didn’t want to get naked in front of that man!”


“He didn’t want to hear my cries though; he could care less how I felt. He was just after one thing and one thing only. He reached back his hand again to strike but this time I yelled for him to stop. I told him I would just do what he asked if he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. I remember him laughing this creepy laugh at that request; like he was just enjoying my pleading of him.”


“After I stripped down to nothing he stepped closer to me and pressed his body against mine. He rubbed up and down against me and I could feel something hard poking into my back. I just stood there frozen in fear; in my head I was clueless as to what he was about to do to me. It just made no sense.”


I had to pause in the middle of the story because I just couldn’t take the pain of remembering anymore. I know I needed someone to talk this over with… but this was just too hard to explain. I just leaned back on the wall and tried my hardest to not cry. It was useless though because a freaking tear leaked its way out anyways.

Ryder sighed, “It’s alright Adam. You don’t have to explain anymore to me. I understand…”

I whisked the tear away, “I’ll just… continue further down.”


I took a deep breath and then continued on…

“After a bunch of crap happened, James locked me in this tiny dark room all by myself. I was completely traumatized and scared for my freaking life. I remember just standing at that door and screaming at it. I kept begging for them to take me home and to let me go. I just wanted my parents so freaking bad. I also wanted to see my new sister and play on my swing set. I tried to think so hard of all the good things but it never really helped. My reality pushed all the good things out of my mind, the only thing I could think about at that moment was if Blue was going to come back and…” I cleared my throat, “He never did come back though but that one time was enough of a time for me to never trust that man ever again.”


“I was in that room for days; James would only occasionally bring me scraps of crap and just throw it on the floor. I was so hungry that it didn’t even matter to me. I would have eaten a dead rat if I had too. Although one day the strangest thing happened; a little girl came through the door with a plate that had a slice of bread with jam on it. She was dressed so properly and her hair was neat and bouncy. There was no way James just kidnapped her like he did me, she seemed like she was living in luxury.

She didn’t really say anything to me at first. She just walked over to me and handed me the food. Of course I didn’t even think twice about it, that piece of bread looked like a steak dinner to me. I gobbled it down in about three bites. After I ate the food we kind of just stared at each other until she asked me what my name was. I told her and then she shared the same information with me.”


“That was about the extent of our conversation because all of a sudden she heard the front door open and she just bolted out of the room. On her way out she muttered something like ‘Oh no, commander is home…’ I just assumed that, that was probably going to be the last time I saw her. I mean, she was probably just some kid that belonged to one of James’ men and she got treated nice because of it. I figured she probably just felt bad for me and brought me some of her leftover lunch.”


“The funny thing though, is that I was wrong. That was just the first of many times that I got to see Eve. At first she would just bring me different kinds of foods and then leave. Then she started to bring me midnight snacks and toys. After a while she would just spend hours with me in that little room playing with the toys and eating stuff with me. We would joke around and make up stories together. I mean, even though she played with me… I could tell her heart wasn’t really in it. She just seemed so grown up for only being a year older than me. I just assumed her parents wanted too much from her all at once. I know I was the one trapped but I still felt bad for her as well. In a way, she was in her own little prison and came to mine to escape it.”


“I know what you’re probably thinking Ryder, that why would I treat her so rotten nowadays when she was so kind to me as a kid. Well, I’m getting to that part. I’ll tell you why I’ll never trust that little brat ever again. I was living or err… trapped at the mansion for about a year, when one night Eve decided to help me escape out of the prison. Now when I say escape I don’t mean out of the mansion itself, just out of the crap hole I was living in. She snuck me around the house until we got to her ‘secret place’ as she called it. It was just a garden attached to the side of the house. Even though there were walls around it, it was still FREEZING cold in that room! I could see my breath in front of me. But I really didn’t care at that moment, I was just so happy to actually see something else besides four stone walls.

In that garden room was when Eve finally opened her whole heart to me. She began to tell me everything about James and his men. She even confessed that James was her father. She hated the fact that she belonged to him like that but that was her reality. Although before she continued on with anything else she had to state that he wasn’t her real father. She said that James found her on a doorstep abandoned in the cold and on the streets one night. He took her in and raised her as his own. I couldn’t believe the words that were even coming out of her mouth. There was no way that James just rescued her like that. Why would he rescue some baby? He was a heartless monster!”


“I didn’t even have a chance to comment on anything she had said because at that moment she pulled me up to my feet and then kissed me! She freaking put her lips right onto mine! I was 6 at that time and a freaking kiss was the grossest thing I could ever think of. I had no idea why she did it because honestly it wasn’t what I wanted! HECK NO!

In the middle of that said kiss, her father came into the garden. He stared at us for only a spilt second before he went nuts.” 


“His screams scared Eve senseless. She immediately stopped kissing me and then pushed me in front of her to shield herself. Her father screamed at her things like ‘How DARE you let this scum out of his cage?!’ and ‘I give you the freedom to walk about and you betray me like this?!’ Before he could get another word out though, Eve pushed me up a little further and said something I will never forget.”

I wasn’t doing anything wrong Commander. This boy forced me to take him out and he was kissing me all over! I swear to you Commander, I have done nothing wrong.

screenshot-29 Anyone in their right mind would know that she was just talking a bunch of bull crap. I was a freaking little kid, how the heck was I going to force her to do anything!? It wasn’t like I was even old enough to know what sexual harassment was! Well, I kind of figured it out after what Blue did to me… but I wasn’t even capable of such things. James knew it too, but he could care less. He loves to have a reason to punish someone. I mean, look what he did to you! He set that all up just so he had a reason to torture you. He gets such a thrill out of revenge and it’s sickening. Heck, he doesn’t even love Eve enough to defend her. He just does it because he likes it.

All Eve had to do was say those magic words and he was all over me. He ran past Eve, gripped me up and pushed me close to that little pond in the garden. Before he did anything, he whispered in my ear ‘This is what you deserve for being alive’. Still to this day I have no idea why he said that to me; it will forever be a mystery.”


“After he had said that to me, he yanked off all of my clothes and then tossed me into that pond. The water was so cold I could immediately feel my body begin to go numb. Heck, as I hit the water I broke through a thin layer of ice that was beginning to form on it! That’s how freaking cold that pond was. He just stood over me and watched as I struggled to stay afloat. The funny part about this is that Eve watched too. She just stood back behind her father and watched as I suffered in a freezing pond. She just let me take the blame for what she did.

I swear being in that water felt like forever but it was probably only about a half hour. That half hour was enough to make me deathly ill though. I remember being in that cold little room all alone with a fever that was sky rocketed and an ear ache that hurt so bad it made my head hurt. James just let me suffer like that for weeks; I could have died but he could care less. When he eventually did have one of his men bring me some medicine it was already too late. I had lost all hearing in my right ear. Now you understand why I hate Eve? Because of her I’m deaf in my right ear! I have never been able to hear things the same way because of what she did to me!”


“As time went on, and I got older, that’s when James made me apart of his team. You know, just like the stuff he has us doing now, that’s what he started making me do. To tell you the truth, I was actually grateful of him. I know it sounds crazy but living in that tiny room for years on end just made me appreciate things. I was so happy to finally be able to walk around freely instead of being trapped all day long. However I wasn’t happy with the things James made me do. Oh god, all the people I had to watch die… it makes my head hurt just thinking about it. It got worse though. Since I was finally let out… I had to be stuck around Eve all the time. It’s funny how she ignored me for years after that incident and then finally I got an upgrade and she was acting like nothing ever happened.

She would goof around and wrap her arms around me. She’d even try to steal kisses on my cheeks and was always freaking touching me! I didn’t want anything to do with that tramp. She betrayed me and allowed bad things to happen to me. There was no way on earth I was ever going to forgive her.”

Come on Adam, don’t be such a big meanie!


“I remember the day she gave up on me though. I was just about to go out to the car with Kriss for a mission when she tried all that crap with me that she was always trying. I remember pulling away from her and glaring over my shoulder. I told her that if she ever came near me again I was personally going to kill her. Yeah, I know, it was a horrible thing to say… even to someone who I hated, but I just couldn’t help myself. I was mad at her then and I’m mad at her now.

Pretty much after that she became distant and didn’t really talk to me unless her father ordered her to tell me something. She also became this whore. She would just wear tiny clothes and sleep with any guy she could get her hands on. She didn’t even freaking care. I think two of the guys she slept with got killed because Eve brought them back here. James doesn’t allow anyone to come into this mansion unless they’re staying here permanently. Well, you knew that anyways…”


I sighed loudly, “Well, that’s about all I guess. There really isn’t much more to tell you. I’ve gone through a bunch of crap but it wasn’t because I did something wrong. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. James saw that I was just this little kid lost in the woods and he used that to his advantage. I’ll never fully understand why I’m the only little kid he’s ever captured. I mean, usually he only brings kids in about your age and they all have some screwed up story about James trying to help them out of something they did wrong. He never even tortured any of those kids, he just threw them with another teenager and made them do crap for him. Well… unless you consider getting killed torture… because he’s killed every partner I’ve ever had. Heck, me and you are the only two teenagers he has at the moment. All the rest of them are like… old.”

Ryder rolled his eyes, “What do you mean they were never tortured?? If you’re talking about me included, then you better think again Adam. That monster killed my family, he burned off my fingerprints and freaking beat the crap out of me multiple times! Don’t you even try and say I-“

I scoffed, “I didn’t say YOU weren’t. So shut up. I guess he just has some beef with you or something. Heck, if I knew…” I sighed again, “Now do you understand Ryder? Did you finally get in through your thick head that I’m just as much as a victim as you are? Also, you really need to knock off all the crap. I just… I can’t watch James get to you like that. It’s sickening.”  

He patted me on the shoulder, “Don’t worry about me and what I do alright? I’m not going to wind up dead like your previous partners. I’m going to be just fine.”

Yeah, why don’t I like the sound of that? God, I know he’s just going to give me a run for my money… but as long as nothing happens to him, and as long as he can stay a little sane, then that’s all I ask. I just can’t have him die on me; I need someone in this piece of crap life that I can trust.


When Chelle heard the news that not only Koby died, but Sander as well, she lost complete faith in the police and decided to run away. She left her homestead in the middle of the night and fled to another town. She hoped and she prayed that Ryder Terrey… would never make her his next victim.


Four years later…  (Ryder’s new trait is Good sense of humor)


Ryder’s Point of View

God, I’ve been waiting for this night for years! Finally we can get some freaking freedom out of the crap hole. James has made Adam and I do so much crap but it’s finally paid off. We don’t have to be completely restricted to stay in the mansion anymore. We’re allowed to go out for a few hours by ourselves at night without an escort! Seriously, I can’t believe I actually got to this! See, I knew I could start to warm up to that jerk. I don’t care how freaking tough he is, one day I’m going to over-throw him and people are going to be taking orders from me. Screw trying to escape, I want it all! Everything he owns is going to be mine. And once I own it all, my first line of business is going to be me murdering James and making all the people who worked for him watch. Now that’s what I call revenge…

There were a lot of different things Adam and me could go do in our few hours of freedom, but I thought the obvious would be nice. I mean, I’ve never been to a bar before! I just happen to be 21 and looking for a good time… so why not? Besides, this will help Adam get his head out of his rear. He’s been so bitter lately because of our next mission. We have to go find that chick that led me to the beach in the first place. She’s been missing for four years now and somehow James got some kind of lead on her. Eh, screw that girl. I’ll take care of her for what she did to me after I get my drink on! BOO YAH!


We arrived at the bar about 2 hours after leaving. That’s the only downside to this; if we want to go out we have to travel really far to get to the city. We’re allowed to know the route now too because we earned that as well. Adam never thought we’d ever see this day but looks like I was right! He needs to cough over those 20 bucks he bet on this. 

Adam sighed, leaning his good ear towards me, “Why do we have to come to a bar? Do you really think it’s such a great idea to be driving a MOTORCYCLE drunk??”

I didn’t even answer him because I was so memorized by the bar tender. Holy CRAP what was she wearing?

He raised his voice, “RYDER! Are you even listening to me?”


I turned my head, “Huh?”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I had a feeling you weren’t. Stop staring at that lady with the big jugs. Honestly, you’re like a freaking horny teenager.”

The woman behind the counter let out a laugh. Oh god, she heard him and his fat mouth! I can just feel my cheeks burning because of him. Why did he have to say anything!? I wasn’t even doing that, I was just wondering why she wearing something so, I don’t know…. UGH. Stupid Adam!

“You know what? You owe me for that one.”

He glared at me, “What do you mean I owe you? What are you going to do???”


“Lady bar tender, give me about 15 drinks!” I slapped Adam on the back, “This guy will take care of the bill!”

He turned away from me and muttered, “Like heck I will…”

Yeah, well that’s what he gets for saying dumb crap to embarrass me. He knows I get all funny around girls. I just don’t know how to talk to them.

The bar tender smiled and in a raspy voice she said, “No problem honey.”

My eyes and Adam’s eyes went wide. Holy crap was she a MAN!? EW!


I just kind of stared at her… I mean… him awkwardly. Oh god, now I feel all weird. I mean, that’s great for him and all… but for a moment I was staring at his chest! I’m not into dudes, oh god no!

Adam punched me and whispered, “Stop making this weird! Just ignore him.”

I just couldn’t take my eyes away though! That guy really looks like a woman!

When the bar tender placed the drinks down she leaned forward and muttered, “You’re not the first to give me that look cutie.”

Okay… I think I need about five drinks…


I got up from the stool and just downed about 3 glasses. I had no idea what they were, I just ordered random stuff. I don’t know what drinks are called anyways; I’ve never had them before.

I lowered my fourth cup from my lips, “Come on Adam! Don’t let these awesome stuff go to waste! You… you… you don’t know what you’re missing!”

He just shook his head, “No, you go right ahead and make a fool out of yourself. I think I’d prefer to just sit here.”

Oh forget him then! He’s so uptight!


“Hey Adam! Look at me, I’m bigger than you!!”

The bar tender turned to me, “Honey, get off that counter! You’re not allowed back here!” she looked at Adam, “Can you get your friend down please before I have to take some action?”

“What? Come on, don’t be a party pooper!” I laughed, “Ha-ha, I said pooper!”


Adam groaned and threw his head down, “For the love of god Ryder, just do what the woman says. You’re embarrassing the crap out of me.”

Well, well, well, he doesn’t like it either! Now the shoe is on the other leg! Is it leg? Shoes don’t go on legs…


I was about to just get down because they kept yelling at me when all of sudden the three headed cat appeared! I’ve never seen anything like that in my entire life!


“WHOA GUYS, DO YOU SEE THAT?!” I screamed, “There’s a freaking cat and he has like a million heads! How does he feed them all? Does that mean he has like 5 stomachs since he has that many heads to feed?!”

The woman looked at me and then at Adam, “I think you need to bring your friend home and have him lie down. He’s talking like a crazy man.”

Adam sighed, “Yeah he’s never drank a day in his life.”

“Oh lord, no wonder…”

I wanted to show them both the kitty but he took off out the door before I had the chance too!

“Oh no, he’s running away! Hold on, I’ll go get him! I’ll prove to you guys that there is a kitty with three heads!”


Holy crap, now he has like four bodies too… Ugh, just looking at him is making me all dizzy. You know what, forget that stupid cat. I don’t wanna look at him anymore… I don’t feel so good.


Just as I was about to turn around and go find some place to lie down in the bar, I heard a bunch of shouting going on around the corner of the building.

“I know you’re the one who stole from us, you thief!” The man screamed, “Don’t act like we don’t know! You tricked us into believing you would help us and then you freaking stole all the profits for yourself.”

“Oh get off my case Jason!” the woman spat, “I didn’t take any of your freaking profits, if that’s what you want to call them! I helped you sell the car parts now leave me the heck alone! I took my share and left, what’s the big deal!?”

“LIAR!” he spat, “You took everything!”

“You can’t prove it was me, there was a bunch of guys working that night!” she rolled her eyes, “Now if you don’t mind, I have some important business I need to take care of.”


He didn’t let her leave though. As she was trying to walk away from him, he grabbed her.

He placed a hand over her mouth, “Now listen here K, you’re going to give us back our money or we’re going to slit your throat and feed your remains to our dogs. I’d hate to hurt such a pretty little face, but we care more about that 15 grand! Now, tell me where you put it!!”

Her eyes narrowed and she bit his hand. He whipped it away and before he could do anything else-


– She slugged him across the jaw! Oh god, I know that had to hurt!

“Don’t you freaking tell me what to do Jason! I have people that would kill you in a heartbeat. Don’t even try to mess with me.”

Jason scoffed, “But we know everything about you Kara, you don’t know anyone. We know your name, where you’re from and how you got here. Don’t even try to play that bullcrap on me. You try to run and we will find you!”

The woman laughed, “Oh crap, what am I going to do now? You guys know every little detail about me? Gee, did it ever occur to you that I could be, oh I don’t know… lying?”

“Why you little-!”


You know, since I was in my drunken state, I couldn’t help but find everything about that woman’s situation hilarious. Here she was probably bouncing around with different crooks doing crap for them and then robbing them blind. It was kind of cute the way she handled herself like that. I also find it kind of funny how she lied to them and yet they all believed her! They must all be a bunch of morons. They don’t want me to show them what a real bad guy can be like.

“Oh dude, she got you guys good! Just give it up man, she’s like cat-woman or something. She’s just going to flee with your money and you’re never going to find her.”

The man spun around, “Who are you!? You think it’s okay to just listen in on other people?!” he stepped towards me and I whipped out my knife.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t try any of that stuff on me pal. I’m drunk and armed… you stand no chance.”

Honestly I thought he was going to put up some kind of fight but he didn’t! He just took off into the night without even looking back! Adam was right when he told me I needed to learn to defend myself; you can’t just be all talk… it gets you nowhere.


After the guy took off, I staggered over to the woman… whose name I think was Kara, (who knows, she could be lying) and struck up a conversation with her like nothing had happened. I mean, to me, that kind of stuff happens around me all the time. It’s nothing new, it’s everyday stuff.

“So, you like whooping butt and taking names? I know why I’m a bad guy, but why are you out here stealing crap and getting in fights with wusses like that guy? What did he do, look at you funny?”

Kara glared at me, “Who the heck do you think you are just talking to me like that? You don’t know me at all!”

I laughed, “Well duh, that’s why I was asking you. I won’t know unless you tell me. So what’s your name anyways? Kara? Karen? Lexi? Or do you just not have a name?”


Kara growled, “You ask me one more freaking question and see if I don’t kick you in the balls! You think you know everything but you have no clue, you idiot. Just go back into that bar you fell out of and forget you ever saw me!”

I chuckled, “Oh wow, you’re a feisty one aren’t you? You know, you’re kind of stuck up your butt too. You remind me of my partner Adam, he’s probably looking all over that bar for me by now. Hey I know what you need!”

She looked me up and down, “What?”


I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her. She immediately pushed me back and just about kneed me in the groin. What? I was just trying to give her a hug; she looked like she needed one…

“God, what the heck is wrong with you?! You’re so drunk you don’t even realize you’re going around and hugging strangers. Just get away from me you freak!”

“Come on, I was just trying to help you out! You look sad…”


Before she had the chance to answer she heard a voice calling ‘RYDER’ in the distance and quickly looked over my shoulder.

“If your name is Ryder, I think that person you mentioned earlier is looking for you.”

“Aw, who cares about stuffed up Adam! He’s no fun at all.” I smirked.

She rolled her eyes, “Just go over to him and go home. You’re clearly not thinking straight you weirdo.”


I was about to say something else to Kara, but Adam had to come and find me… Why couldn’t he have just, I don’t know, left me alone? I was making a new friend…

“OH MY GOD!! There you are you deranged maniac! I was looking all over the freaking bar for you, we need to get back now or you know who is going to have a freaking cow! Just because we’re allowed out, doesn’t mean we’re not being watched you idiot.”


I frowned, “But I want to stay here and talk to cat-woman! Her name’s Kara and she’s my new friend.”

Adam stared at me like I crazy, “Oh yeah that’s right, I forgot. You went after the three-headed cat and he lead you to cat-woman. That sounds perfectly normal and not like a drunken idiot at all! Now come on, I need to drive you back. There is no way on earth you’re riding your motorcycle.”

“No wait, you need to meet her first!”

Adam groaned, “Ryder there is no one there! You were talking to yourself.”

I spun around and my eyes widened. Holy crap he was right, there wasn’t anyone here… Had I imagined it the entire time? No, I couldn’t of. I know for a fact that Kara is real! Whoa, what if she really is like cat-woman! She can like, climb up stuff and disappear! Oh my gosh I-


“Alright I’m coming!”


Adam drove us back to the mansion as quickly as he possibly could. We were supposed to be home by 7 am, so we made it just in the nick of time. I’d like to say I wasn’t drunk anymore, but let’s face it I was still completely wasted. I really had way too much to drink…

Once in the doorway I shouted, “HEY EVERYBODY! We back in the HOUSE!”

Adam grabbed me, “Shut up!! This isn’t a frat house, it’s James’ mansion! You wake any of them up and you’re as good as dead. Just get up the steps and go get in bed…”

Adam always has to ruin my fun…

Thanks for reading guys! I’m so happy to finally have told you all about Adam’s back-story. It’s such a shame that that happened to him right? But there just seems like something is missing, some puzzle piece that just doesn’t seem to be there. As for Ryder, well you guys already know he’s lost his marbles. He’s sane in one sense but completely bonkers in the next. Also the way he was acting was just him being drunk, if he had seen Kara doing that while he was sober he probably wouldn’t have said anything to her. Ryder’s drunken state made him a ball of insanity. Poor Adam had to rescue him. Even if Adam hated Ryder and wished he could have left him there, he still couldn’t of. James made it clear that a partner is a partner. His crap is your crap and vice versa. Also I know I said to some people I wasn’t going to do a back-story for James, but I realized that I actually do need one. So that will be much later.


About Jax

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." - Mitch Hedberg
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23 Responses to Chapter 7.5 – Insecurities

  1. Yay!!! New chapter! I was just reading the email you sent me, and then I got a notification of a new chapter, and I was really curious, so I zoomed over. Anywerzzle!

    Oh wow! I had thought that Adam would’ve had a similar back story to Ryder’s, but it was really different. I felt bad for him, and I can understand his regret of running away and treating his parents like that. So that pretty much explains why Adam is scared of Blue. And though it was rotten for Eve to do, I sort of understand why she did that… Unless I’m wrong, she was scared, and knew what her “dad” was capable of, and I think that she may have actually truthfully liked Adam, and wasn’t playing him. And since James found her when she was a baby, I’m assuming that she really doesn’t know how to apologize because she wasn’t really raised that way. (And then I find out that I am completely wrong… As usual…) But congrats to Adam for NOT loosing his marbles.

    I semi-LOLed when I saw Ryder’s 5th trait, I didn’t really think that good sense of humor fits him very well. But with the drunkenness and him acting loony with the 3 headed, 4 bodied cat… Yeah, the trait fits. Hehe

    Yay!!! Kara=Boss!!! I laughed at the guy who was with Kara… You know why! But kudos to her for sticking up for herself, and putting both Jason and Ryder in their places. I have to disagree with Ryder, Adam is not too uptight at all! Can’t wait to see more Kara, and Persephone’s role. 😀

  2. FIRST! yay!!!!!! wow, adams back story is so sad 😦 and Kara looks AMAZING!!! you did a great job Rochelle 😉 great chapter Jax ❤

  3. nahshona says:

    Well this was very intriguing to say the least. Poor Adam, what was done to him was sickening and I hope Blue gets what’s coming to him. Eve what a trick, but then I guess she was afraid of what may happen to her if she told the truth. Still right is right. I can understand why Adam hates her, I would too. Doing a backstory for James is a good idea. It would help to understand him a bit more. Maybe his story will answer more questions about why he is who he is and why he is so hell bent on revenge. I mean what really happened to this guy? It will be very interesting to read and I can’t wait until it comes out.

    Lol drunk Ryder is funny and his references to cat woman were priceless. Kara seems like a very mysterious character. I remember reading her backstory from the casting call. I can’t wait to see how you work her and Jed’s character into the story. You are awesome at writing and developing plot twists and turns. You never cease to amaze me Jax. I’m super excited about next chapter. 😀

  4. jaec52609 says:

    my poor adam….O: i cant believe eve lied like tht, but hey kids lie all the time…..i cant believe james would save an abandoned baby like he did? nvr seen tht comin……wow finally freedom…awesom chpter by the way…like ALWAYS!!!

  5. “I spun around and my eyes widened. Holy hell he was right, there wasn’t anyone here… Had I imagined it the entire time? No, I couldn’t of. I know for a fact that Kara is real! Whoa, what if she really is like cat-woman! She can like, climb up shit and disappear! Oh my gosh I-”

    I FREAKING DIED! That made me laugh SO HARD! And I totally loved seeing Kara tear off Jason’s(LOL, I love that he was in this. Remind me that I owe him an apology later.) ass and hand it right back to him. He don’t know who he’s dealing with. 😀

    I figured Adam’s backstory would be terrible. I wasn’t disappointed to say the least. The poor kid! I want him away from James now more than ever. I want to see someone go commando on his sorry little squeaky cheeks. (AND YOU CAN TELL HIM I SAID THAT)

    Someone seriously needs to set Ryder straight. He’s gone off the deep end.

    Well anyways, I loved it. As always.

  6. toyinroxx123 says:

    Yayayayayay new chapter!
    *covers eyes* …Ryder…should never get drunk again. But then again, he makes stupid decisions so he probably will.

    Hmmmmmm… The guy that Kara punched looks just like Meg ;D

    • toyinroxx123 says:

      I really feel sorry for Adam ;__________________;

    • Jax says:

      LOL he shouldn’t, but you’re right… Knowing him it probably won’t be the last time he does something stupid. But it’s a heck of a lot of fun to write that persona! Haha…

      I bet it’s the hairstyle ^_^ That sim is one that I made.

  7. meginthebox says:

    Man, Adam’s had it rough. That all was so sad, it makes me kinda pissed at Ryder, because Adam’s been stuck there for years and has managed to not succumb to taking joy in killing people, then Ryder’s all just… screwy. Though he’s funny when he’s drunk. Kara’s pretty amazing, I’m curious to see how she’ll pop up again.

    • Jax says:

      Mhm, poor Adam really has had a rough life 😦 The only good moments are the faint ones he can remember from being a child. At least he can remember his mom and dad though… Not saying it hurts any less, but having that memory at least gives him something to cling too. Ryder has nothing, and pretty much lost it because of it. He was starting to take a turn for the worse in the first place, but he really went south when James told him that.

      Oh she will 😉

  8. blamsart says:

    Poor adam, and what is this? Ryder wants to take over the operation and kill adam? He’s pretty much become his own James. *sigh* Kara is awesome! She’s so badass! 😀 Great chapter!

    • Jax says:

      WHAT? No! Ryder doesn’t want to kill Adam, he really actually likes the guy now. They bicker but they get along now. But the other part is true, he does want to take all that James has away from him.

      • blamsart says:

        oh wait maybe I misread the name of who he wanted to kill…lol my bad. I’m starting to think that was James plan, that for some reason he wants to retire and Ryder is like the before replacant or something.

  9. Jedidiah says:

    LOL Ry can take as much alcohol as his father. That should be a lesson to everybody. 🙂
    N’awww Adam’s life so far has been paved with traumatic events. I mean, he basically got kidnapped for some perverse pleasure. It’s a miracle that his spirit hasn’t been affected like Ry’s has been. Oh lala… Kara is one tough cookie. ^_^ Well done, Jax, well done. 🙂

    • Jax says:

      LOL maybe even a little less. Getting drunk is just not something in their bloodlines. Noah crashed a car because of it and got beat up. Ryder pretty much lost his marbles and tried to hug strangers and seen kitty’s with three heads ^^’ So much fun to do that persona though hehe

      Exactly. He really did. But why? 😉 What is the pleasure of James doing such?

      It is a miracle, but like I told someone else. In Adam’s mind he still has that strand of hope that his parents are out there somewhere and they’re safe. In his mind, he can keep the memory of his family locked in tight and it gives him a sense of sanity. Where as Ryder, who has lost his family… well he doesn’t have anything to keep his sanity level at a minimum. I know that he was starting to lose it beforehand, but if Adam could of got to him, and talked to him about family and such… he may have overcome it. But since that’s not his reality… he can’t use that. In Ryder’s thinking he has nothing else to live for but to take the sweetest revenge on the man who made his life hell. But not saying he won’t enjoy it in the long run…

      Yesh, she really is ^^’ I’m excited to use her more and your sim! I still need to introduce her as well. Aw, thanks Buddy ^_^

  10. Tawny says:

    Gosh It’s been a while since i last commented 😦
    What a terrible thing to go through at such a young age. I’m sure thats the worst thing that could happen to a child. Feeling unwanted, running away, being found by a strange man, Blue doing ‘things’ to him, then being imprisoned for what seems like the rest of his life. Poor Adam 😦 and ontop of that Eve was so terrible. I wonder if she actually does/did like him or is just playing around. It DOES seem like theres something missing…..

    Ryder drunk=pricless! Haha that was sooo funny 😀 The whole cat refrence thing. Ahaha!

    You GO Kara! I love her character so much! The way she knows how to handle herself and shes such a strong female role. Gahh she’s gunna be back right? I sure hope so! She seems like a super cool person and i definitely want to see more!

    Yet another wonderful chapter Jax! Can’t wait to see how it plays out further down the road! 🙂

    • Jax says:

      Well that’s alright ^_^

      Oh I know, I so agree with you there. It really is such a terrible thing. There he was all alone in the woods when out of a nowhere a man takes him away and tortures him his entire life. That’s just brutal… Well, with Eve… one will just have to see 😉

      LOL yeah, it was fun writing it too 😀

      Right!?? She’s so awesome, I love portraying her ^_^ Of course she’s gonna be back, I wouldn’t just do all that for nuffin 😉


  11. deathcullen says:

    Great Chapter!!!! I just cried so hard at Adam’s back story! It was so sad and…. even more sad!! *sniff* Ryder being drunk is hilarious! Ecspecially when he called her cat woman! I love Kara’s character so much. Her personality reminded me of one of my friends. When Adam said “You know who” it reminded me of Voldemort! So Wonderful post and I can’t wait for the next one!!

  12. Seriously, I can’t believe I haven’t commented on this yet.

    I liked Adam’s back story, it was super realistic, about him causing problems because he thought he wouldn’t be loved any more with a new baby on the way. It’s really unfortunate that his childish insecurities ended up being his downfall. I wonder whatever happened to his parents and his sister?
    As for Blue, wow was I WAY off in what I thought. Bad Blue! That’s just wrong! Although, I’m kinda relieved it only happened the one time.
    Now, on to Eve. I don’t ever know where to begin. At first her helping Adam was cute, but then her betrayal. I mean, sure James probably wasn’t a REAL father to her in any sense of the word, and clearly he scares her, a lot. Still though, to not say anything when the boy you’ve been hanging out with is suffering in the freezing cold water because you went and told a lie, that’s just wrong. I mean, to not even say anything; then again, if she had, it might have ended up worse for Adam. Not sure if she knew that or not, but still it was wrong. It was even more wrong for her not to go to his aide afterwards, and only when he’s out in the mansion, try to be friends with him again. I mean, I can only imagine that she has no concept of proper social skills seeing as she’s only been around James, but come on, she could have at least apologized. As for her turning into a tramp, I think it was her delusional way to try and make Adam jealous. I think she really does like him, but doesn’t know the proper way to tell him, and sleeping around isn’t helping.
    The big mystery in all that was what James said; ‘This is what you deserve for being alive’. I’m wondering if it has something to do with Adam’s mom; perhaps they were lovers at one point?

    As for Ryder, drunk Ryder is SO amusing! I loved all the cat woman references and it was great seeing Kara in action. Although, I don’t think Adam and Ryder are out of trouble despite just getting home in the nick of time. There’s still the matter of Ryder’s motorcycle being left at the bar. Although, maybe James won’t notice that… here’s hoping.

  13. hadriansims123 says:

    I’m mostly a silent reader, but I finally decided to comment. Anyway, I feel bad for poor Adam and I absolutely knew the reason Adam hated Eve, But I was surprised to find out Eve wasn’t Jame’s daughter ( and that she didn’t dye her hair). I also decided to create my own blog and I would appreciate if you read it, and as always, great chapter!

  14. hadriansims123 says:

    Oops, I forgot to put the link to my blog. it’s here,

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