Author’s Note: You guys ready for this generation to end? I know I seriously am. Once again, I apologize for the long wait! I hope you enjoy these chapters anyways. I’m going to post Tag’s portion first and then hope to GOD I can finish up the second half for the twins soon. I just figured I wouldn’t keep you guys waiting anymore. But yeah, thanks for your patience!
Tag’s Point of View
Even though we close our eyes to sleep, to forget about the day, the mind will never cease. Most people expect to get full nights of pleasant dreams and sound slumber. Me? Well, let’s just say my mind has a, ahem, mind of it’s own.
My dreams are always different but all share a common ground – they involve my father. No matter what I try or how many times I tell myself my dad is a great man… my mind seems to think differently. The pictures that run through my head are always so vivid and clear – so detailed. My mind makes up these events that never will or never have taken place.
Although different, they always seem to involve my grandfather as the victim in a bunch of different scenarios. With, of course, my dad being the one who is the abuser. I’d like to say that these dreams are recent or that they don’t happen all the time… but they do. It’s something that’s been torturing me since I’ve been a little kid. Ever since… I learned about what my father was. I know in my heart that my dad is amazing and that he loves all of us… but in the back of my mind; in the deep portion that I smother with ignorance, apparently… I don’t feel 100% about what I say.
I try my very best to fight those feelings and to love my father like a kid should… but what my mind is constantly showing me, is that no matter how many lies I tell myself, I’ll always be afraid of my dad. I’ll always wake up in a cold sweat and a rapid heart beat for fear that my dad may one day make me… his next target.
Per usual, I woke up in the middle of the night with my head beading sweat and my heart racing. Do you know how much it freaking sucks to constantly have nightmares about your dad… killing you? It seems nothing helps take away the anxiety and the belittled feelings I get – besides drinking. Yeah, I know it’s bad for me and I know I’m hurting myself; I’ve heard it a million and six times from my little brother. But honestly, neither him or grandpa know what the heck I’m going through. They don’t have to worry about what sick and twisted thing they’re going to dream about next. If I just drown myself in a few drinks, I manage to pass out and wake up without even realizing what happened.
I looked around the inky blackness of my room and sighed.
“God, every freaking night… It’s without fail!” I shouted in a hushed whisper.
I flicked on the lamp beside my bed and then stepped onto the scratchy, crappy carpet in my room. My toes were intertwined in a pile of dirty clothes – god if I knew how long they’ve been there. I stood there in silence, just gazing over at my brother. It must be nice to be able to sleep peacefully…
I groaned. I didn’t even care how loud it was. You know how you get to a point in your life with things where you’re just fed up? Yeah, I freaking crossed that, like, forever ago.
“GOD! I just want SLEEP!” I screeched, clenching a fist to one side.
Of course, my brother being the light sleeper that he is, woke up at the sounds of my groans and loud outburst. But honestly, who wouldn’t wake up from that?
He sat up; rubbed his eyes, “Tag?” he yawned, “What the heck?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Just… go back to bed.”
He stood to his feet. “How about… no? I’m not just going to roll back over and pretend you’re alright. Dude, I’m not heartless. Now what’s up?”
I growled, “I just told you it’s nothing! I don’t want to talk about.”
I grabbed a random, dirty t-shirt off the ground and threw it on and then slipped into a pair of shorts.
“Where the heck are you going?” Patrick looked over to the dresser, “It’s 2:45…”
I grabbed my guitar. “I’m going out; need to clear my head.”
I headed out our bedroom door; not even taking a glance back at Patrick.
He, of course, followed me out.
“Dude, come on. It’s freaking late!” he whispered, “Grandpa is going to seriously kill you if he finds out.”
I twirled my finger in the air sarcastically, “Big whoop. He already finds one hundred things to blame me for – let him actually have a reason.”
Patrick ran over to me; spun me around, “At least let me come with you.”
I ripped my shoulder out of his grip and turned back around.
“No. I’m going by myself – don’t even think about following me Patrick. I swear to god.”
He scoffed, “You know what? Fine. Whatever. Have fun in the dark; I don’t even care.”
And with that he stomped back into our room and shut the door. I’m probably the biggest jerk on the planet at times, but really… I just like to be alone. It’s how I cope with the stupid things that go on through my head and in my life. I know Patrick shares a lot of those same pains as me, but… I just can’t take it the same way he does. I’m-… I’m not that strong.
A huge part of me wanted to drink SO badly. I wanted to down as many as I could in the shortest amount of time. But, instead of doing that, I decided playing my music would suffice. I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about strumming my guitar and singing a song that brings me a calm sensation. I mean, I know I don’t have a great voice or anything… but I still love to use my voice to make music.
I strummed my guitar softly, singing along to each note I played.
Music. I don’t know what the heck I would do without it…
I wonder what my mom and dad would say,
If I told them that I cry each day.
But it’s hard enough to live so far away.
I wish I wasn’t always cold
I wish I wasn’t always alone
When the party is over,
How will I get home?
And all you need to know is
I’m so sorry, it’s not like me,
It’s maturity that I’m lacking
So don’t, don’t let me go
Just let me know that growing up goes slow.
I was so lost in my music, that I didn’t even realize there was someone watching me. It’s like, when my music and I collide, the rest of the world around me is nonexistent.
The voice spoke.
“You sing pretty good for a jerk…”
Like I said before, I was totally lost in my music… so when the girl spoke, I sort of almost crapped myself. She scared me so badly that I lost the grip I had on my guitar.
“NO!” I screeched, trying to grab the guitar before it fell.
But it was already too late; the thing flew out of my hands and smacked against the concrete below.
I didn’t even want to look. I was so pissed off. The only thing I could manage to do was grip my forehead and scream.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” I shouted, “God! Does NOTHING go right?!”
After a moment of ranting, I climbed down the steps leading to the bottom. Alright, it was more like I stomped down them so freaking hard I almost broke my ankle.
I was still very pissed off, but… part of it ceased when I noticed where the voice had come from.
“What the-“ I questioned, “Crying park girl? What the heck are you doing here? What are you a stalker?”
She scoffed, “So that’s what I’m referred to as? How… charming.”
I rolled my eyes, “Well you wouldn’t tell me your name. You just sort of took off in a blind rage because I was trying to be friendly.”
She laughed, “Oh, so that’s what you call friendly? Amazing.”
Okay, so really it was only a small part that ceased. But it sure as heck came boiling back up when this freaking girl decided to get snippy. I’m the one who should be snippy! She freaking scared the crap out of me!
“Okay hold on!” I shouted, “Don’t give me a freaking attitude. If anyone should be angry right now it’s me! You freaking cost me a guitar!”
She glanced down at the ground and huffed, “Really? Because it looks fine to me… Besides, I was just giving you a compliment! You don’t have to start shouting, God!”
“Don’t tell me what to do! I have every right under the sun to yell as loud as I want too. You’re not my freaking mom. You’re just a creeper girl stalking people in the dark!”
“OH THAT’S RICH! I just happened to be in the same park as you and all of a sudden I’m a stalker?! What if I was just out getting some air? JERK!”
I growled, “Well how am I supposed to know that? Apparently you just keep appearing wherever I go… what else am I supposed to think?”
She yelled, “That we live in the same area?! That maybe this town is freaking small!? I don’t really know! God, what the heck is wrong with you?!”
“Wrong with me?! What’s wrong with you!?” I got closer to her, “Why don’t you just go wreck someone else’s night??”
“FINE! I’ll freaking leave! I can see how my being in this giant freaking park with you is an issue!” she shook her head, “I knew it was a bad idea to say something to you!”
“YEAH!” She screamed back.
I don’t even really know what happened. One minute I was screaming in her face and the next I had this sudden urge to just smash my lips against hers. I have never done that in my entire life. Heck, I’ve never even been on a date with a girl before, let alone kiss some random chick. I really don’t even know what came over me. I was just bubbling over with so many different emotions, I just sort of reacted on a REALLY random and obnoxious one.
The kiss didn’t last very long because well… she sort of slapped me.
“WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” She screamed, “You’re insane!”
I rubbed my sore cheek and lowered my eyes… What IS wrong with me?
The girl spun around in a huff. As she did that, rain started to slowly fall on us…
“I’m SO out of here!”
I grabbed her, “Wait!” I pleaded, “I’m sorry! I don’t know what the heck I was thinking; it was stupid!”
She ripped out of my grasp, “Don’t TOUCH me! You better hope to god we never see each other again. FREAK!”
And with those words being said, I let her go. I stood there in the rain watching her storm over to her car and then eventually speed off down the road.
After a moment of being in complete shock, I picked up my nearly broken guitar.
I stared blankly across the park. “What in god’s name just happened?”
A few months had passed. Apparently they finally let my parents have a date to get married. I can’t believe it’s been this many years and they are just NOW becoming official. My dad wanted to marry my mom years ago, but… it’s hard to do things when you have absolutely no life of your own. It’s not like they couldn’t just get married, it’s the fact that they wanted all of us there with them that made it an issue – it’s why they had to wait so long.
The minister smiled, “Are you two ready?”
The cop stifled laughter, “Oh how beautiful… cons getting married.”
Yeah, jokes about my parents will NEVER get old… Freaking A-hole.
Uriah looked up at me, “What is that guy talking about?”
My eyes went wide, “Uhm, no-nothing. He’s just an idiot.”
She shrugged, “Whatever then…”
I swear people have no freaking self-control!
Of course, my dad being the patient man that he is, chose to ignore that stupid cop. I mean honestly, how horrible is it that our parents have to have a supervised wedding??
“Well, my beautiful angel, are you finally ready to be locked to me forever?”
My mom laughed, “Jokes. Always with the jokes.”
Apparently a joke only they would understand…
Most people would look in at this wedding and see how dysfunctional it was. And although that is absolutely true, I couldn’t help but look around at all of us and smile. We haven’t all been together in the same room in so long. We’re very limited on time spent with our parents as it is… so it was nice to have this moment with them.
My dad looped his hand into my mom’s and softly kissed her cheek. It’s amazing after all these years he can still look at my mom with that longing and loving gaze. If I ever manage to get a girlfriend, I want it to be like that with us. But with my crappy attitude and loner mentality… yeah that’s never going to happen. My first kiss was an impulse with a random chick at 4 o’clock in the morning…
My parents walked over to the alter and all of a sudden a sense of sadness swept over me. I can’t believe that after this I can’t even go home with them. I have to be forced to go back to my grandfather’s house and wait another month or more just to schedule another appointment with them.
I gripped my elbows tightly and sighed.
Uriah looked up at me once more, “You alright?”
I cleared my throat, “Hm? Oh, yeah. Fine.”
She shook her head, “Sure you are…” she looked forward, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to be like Patrick. I’ll just let you have your space.”
I chuckled, “Uh, thanks…”
It’s amazing how big my brother and sister are getting – how smart they seem to be all of a sudden. I honestly don’t know where the time has gone. I mean, I’m already 16 for crying out loud…
The minister looked at us, “The bride and groom have prepared their own vows. So, at this time, I would like to ask the groom to give his.”
My dad smiled, ”I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you so much Kara.”
“And now the bride.”
“I take you to be my partner for life. I promise above all else to live in truth with you and to communicate fully and fearlessly.
I give you my hand and my heart. As a sanctuary of warmth and peace. And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor. As I join my life to yours.”
After the vows were spoken… the rings were exchanged.
The minister sighed longingly, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ryder, you may kiss your bride.”
My father grasped my mother around the waist and pulled her in towards him. He then took my mother and kissed her passionately on the lips. Okay, ew…
After the ceremony was complete, my father walked over to Patrick and I.
He smiled, “Look at you two… you’re too grown up.” He looked at me shaking his head, “I remember when I had to chase you around with a shirt… begging you to stay dressed.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. What is it with parents? They always have to get so emotional…
Patrick slapped me on the back, “If it makes you feel any better dad, he really hasn’t changed that much. He still likes to walk around looking like a smacked butt.”
I punched Patrick, “Dude… shut up.”
My dad chuckled, “God, I miss being around you guys all the time; you both have my sense of humor – I love it.”
Before I could elaborate on what my dad said, the anus of a cop had to open his fat mouth.
“Alright, let’s break this up. I have places to be. You got your little wedding ceremony, now it’s time to go.” He stated rudely.
I turned around, “Seriously?? It hasn’t even been an hour!”
He chuckled, “Yeah, so? I don’t have time to babysit your parents. So that means it’s time for all of you to get the heck out.”
“What don’t you have time for?! You’re getting paid to be here anyways!” I shouted!
“Tag, don’t…” My father sighed.
“NO DAD!” I retorted, “I’m sick of this bull crap!”
“You better listen to your psycho daddy; you don’t want me to have to arrest you. I can only imagine what they would do to you in prison. Ask your father, I’m sure he’ll be able to explain it just fine.” The cop smirked.
I balled my fist to one side, “Take that BACK!” I raised my bawled up fist a little higher.
“TAG!” Grandpa shouted, “Don’t you DARE!”
The officer laughed, “Oh god, you’re funny. Your kid is funny Ryder. He actually thinks he can hit me.”
“That’s enough!” My mom stated, “We’ll go! I’m sick of all of this!”
I gripped my hair tightly and let out a frustrated groan.
“It’s always the same! You always let them have their way!” I shouted, heading towards the exit.
“Tag!” Grandpa screeched, “Get back here!”
Yeah right… I’m out of here. I can’t take all of this freaking BULL!
If I would have stayed there any longer, I swear I would have hit that cop right in his freaking mouth! I would have wiped that stupid freaking grin right off his FACE! GOD! I hate this! My entire life has been like this – day in and day out. No matter where I go, no matter what I do… people are always whispering; always having hatred towards me because of what my parents did. I know they screwed up, I know they did things that no one should ever do… but why is it that I always have to take the fall?! My face and Patrick’s face have scars all over it because of what idiotic kids thought we were. We’re never shown any mercy… we never have any peace! I swear to god the twins are so lucky they don’t have to deal with what me and Patrick deal with. They just don’t know how lucky they are that the accusations and the brutal torture doesn’t fall onto their shoulders – but ours.
I walked for like six straight miles. I didn’t know where the heck I was and honestly… I didn’t give a crap. I can’t take it being around all of that. If I don’t walk off my anger, then I’m just going to be even worse. It usually only takes an hour or so to help me calm down, but today… that wasn’t the case. It was like, no matter how far I walked and how much I growled in frustration, I was still angry.
And as I continued to walk… that’s when I saw her. The red head that by some miracle I keep running into! I mean honestly, how many times in one year am I going to run into this chick by chance? This is getting ridiculous…
I didn’t say anything to her at first. I just kind of stood there watching her destroy the side of some random old store building… Why the heck is she doing that anyways?
I cleared my throat, “So this is what you do in your free time? Vandalize little mom and pop stores for some sort of high?”
The girl dropped the spray can in shock. She spun around to face me. She was about to open her mouth to say something, until she realized who I was.
She narrowed her eyes, “Oh my god, seriously?! What the heck do you want? It’s like I can’t go anywhere without your smug, ugly face showing up! GET A FREAKING LIFE – leave me alone!”
I walked towards her, my face calm.
“Look, I don’t have the energy to argue with you today. I don’t know why the frick I keep running into you and quite frankly I don’t give a crap. I just got kicked out of a wedding because some jerk-off cop decided he wanted to eat some donuts and take a freaking NAP!”
She rolled her eyes, “Oh I can only imagine what you did to get kicked out of a wedding by a cop.”
I scoffed, “Because I don’t live with my parents and I’m only allowed to see them under supervision. Are you happy now? You just entered my personal life.”
Her features softened at that remark.
Instead of commenting on how crappy my life is or how bad she feels for me… she just sort of… got in my face. It was the most awkward five seconds of my life…
“You got problems, I have problems… why don’t we just forget about them for a day?”
I raised a brow, “How so?”
She looked over at the old building.
“Help me bust inside of there.”
I coughed, laughed a little, “Are you serious??”
She nodded her head.
I have to believe that this girl is even crazier than she seems, but… I couldn’t help but agree to her terms. I did need something to get my mind off of everything that was going on; even if it meant breaking into some store for a chick whose name I STILL haven’t learned.
I stood there fiddling with a bobby pin and an old credit card – no luck.
“Come on.” she pressured, “How hard is it to open an old, crappy door?”
I scoffed, “If you think it’s so easy why don’t you try??”
She just shook her head and I continued to play with it. After another moment, I stopped.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“If I’m going to do this for you, I need to at least know your name. I’m tired of calling you stalker girl or that creep I occasionally see. Well, not completely tired of it…” I laughed. She narrowed her eyes at that one. “So? What is it?”
She sighed, “It’s Enola, alright?”
I laughed, “Now, was that so hard?”
She growled, “Yes, extremely. Now open the freaking door…”
Mean one, isn’t she?
I gave the door another few turns and then pressed hard against it. I had no experience in locking picking, so I just broke it.
“Wow, when I said break in I didn’t mean literally…”
I turned around and smiled slightly, “Well… it’s open isn’t it?”
She just sighed and brushed past me into the old place. She walked around for a moment, as if she was taking it all in.
Curiously, I asked, “So, why the heck did you want to come inside this old crap shack anyways?”
She looked over her shoulder at me and painfully spoke, “My dad… he- he used to own this place when I was a little girl.”
“And that was the perfect reason to vandalize it?”
She sighed, “I was just mad at the guy who owns it now. It’s a long story and I don’t feel like sharing.”
I held up my hands, “Then don’t – I got enough issues of my own.”
After I had finished speaking, Enola found an old staircase leading to the second floor.
“Come on.” she muttered
I nodded my head in agreement and then followed her up the metal stairs.
I looked around on the second floor. Holy crap, this looks like Stephen King’s living room…
“Good god, who died up here?!”
Enola chuckled, “My father had a weird sense in furniture – he found old things really fascinating.”
I shivered, “Yeah, well… it doesn’t mean you bring the graveyard home with you.”
She sighed, staring over at me from a mirror.
“I used to say the same things to him about this old furniture collection.” She lowered her eyes, “But I’d live around this stuff for the rest of my life if it meant I got to see him one more time…”
Aw crap… I’m such an anus.
“I’m sorry Enola… I didn’t know.”
She shrugged her shoulders, “It’s fine – he died when I was 12. I mean, it stills hurts and all… but you know… you gotta move on, I guess.”
“If it makes you feel any better, my parents are so absent out of my life… it almost feels like they’re not alive at times.” I sighed, “I mean, I know it’s not the same feeling as them actually being gone. But yeah, I really suck at comforting people so I’m just going to shut up.”
That got a smile out of her.
“Wow a smile? You should try wearing those more often.” I joked.
“And you should try not being such a jerk at times…”
“You know what I would REALLY like to try?” I questioned.
She turned around. Before she had the chance to ask ‘what’, I had her wrapped in my grip. I kissed her multiple times on the lips, just waiting for her to push me back and slap me again. I know it was completely idiotic of me to do it last time, but the rush I got from it… felt AMAZING. So, I kind of wanted that adrendeline to start rushing through my body again…
Thing is though… Enola didn’t push me back. In fact, she tightened her grip around me and locked her lips in tighter with mine. I can honestly say I did not expect her to do that. But, I guess… when two people are sharing some kind of pain, they do stupid things to distract themselves.
And when I say stupid… I mean REALLY stupid.
Time had passed and I pretty much just decided to forget about what happened between me and Enola. I mean, sure we exchanged phone numbers… but that was about it. We both knew that neither of us was going to say anything to the other. It was a stupid spur of the moment thing that neither one of us expected to happen. We were upset at our crappy lives and so… we just tried something to cover it up.
I sighed, looking down into my cereal bowl. I honestly wish that day would have taken away all the pain I feel… but it didn’t. If anything, I kind of feel worse. I never expected my first time with a girl to be in some old run down store in the middle of nowhere…
As I sat there fiddling with my frosted flakes, I heard my phone go off in the other room. It’s odd, because my phone is pretty much useless. I have no real friends that I talk to; grandpa just gave it to me to have in case of an emergency.
I picked up the phone and read off the text message.
“I need to talk to you?” I questioned, “What the heck does she have to talk to me about?”
I quickly hit the reply button. I asked her why she couldn’t just tell me now. She responded that she wanted it to be in person.
“Seriously?” I said aloud, “What the heck does she need to meet me for?”
I know, I know. I’m sounding like a total jerk again… but really if I see her, I’m going to feel guilty just looking at her.
I waited and waited for her to text back. And when she did… my entire stomach dropped to the floor.
(If you can’t see the message, click on the picture to make it bigger.)
Thanks for reading guys! So yes, Tag isn’t in the best state right now at all. His life has been screwed up ever since he was a little kid. We all know that obnoxious dreaming runs in the family, so it was bound to hit another one of the Terrey’s. Except with Tag his way of coping is through alcohol… Patrick tries his hardest to help his older brother out, but honestly, there is only so much a person can do before they’re fed up. And now, on top of all of this mess… Tag is going to be a dad. At 16. Noah is going to have a field day…